[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 947
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 912

       I'll come up with a title later. Nothing seems right.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    With midnight cries,
    cathedral eyes,
    and hollow words
    until we die...
    I'm glad I'm not in love again.

    December lights
    in blurry sights
    when bombs and tanks
    roll by at night...
    I'm glad I'm not in love again.

    Glittering sins
    from medicines,
    laughing until
    the day begins...
    I'm glad I'm not in love again.

    false perfection,
    two hearts sharing
    one infection...
    I'm glad I'm not in love again.

    Souls draped in flies,
    sarcastic sighs,
    a promise to
    believe the lies...
    I'm glad I'm not in love again.

    Closed casket door,
    blood stains the floor,
    no roses live
    here anymore...
    I wish I were in love again.

    Submitted on 2007-02-09 21:47:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      No kidding...I think you should call this one..."The Poem You Wished You Wrote Cuz It Kicks F*ckin A$$"

    I wished I could have wrote it, because it kicks such f*ckin a$$...but alas, I am just a pauper who must add it as a fave.

    Very, very powerful writing dear Kinnni.

    Goes good with my chicken strips and stove top stuffing.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

    Alright, now I know that the other poem that I favorited wasn't just a fluke. You have such a talent for writing and pacing of poems. Amazing. I love the deception/infection stanza. Everything went together perfectly. The only thing that I would consider changing in this is the last stanza, and it's only for the spacing. Maybe:

    Closed casket door,
    blood stains (on) the floor,
    no roses live here anymore...
    I wish I were in love again.

    The short phrases worked before because they were different parts of a sentence (clauses I think, I didn't pay attention to those in English) any, the "no roses" line should be continual on one line just so it doesn't break it in two. That's the only thing that stuck out to me....Which goes to show that this piece is brilliant. I love the "refrain" line at the end of every stanza and then the change at the end. It's really true of how people want things that they know will end up hurting them...if that's what was meant by it. Unfortunately I can't favorite everything of yours, just know that I want to. lol.

    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Giving written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Linger written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    To written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]