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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I DONT KNOW WHYdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SAMEER
    ASL Info:    18/M/INDIA
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 47/21/28
    Words: 526
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 177
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2361



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI DONT KNOW WHYdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I DON’T KNOW WHY
    JUST DON’T KNOW WHY
    CAN’T CLOSE MY EYES
    CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT
    CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU, SEEING
    YOU IN THE MIRROR BEFORE MY EYES
    CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT
    IM READY FOR A FIGHT, FOR YOU
    NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOT EVEN YOU
    NEVER KNEW LOVE TO BE SO HARD
    NEVER KNEW ID FALL FOR IT
    AND KNOW WHEN IM HERE
    IN THE MIDST OF THIS SEA
    WAITING FOR YOU
    TO COME SAVE ME
    TRUST ME! I NEVER KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING
    TRUST ME FOR AM REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
    SORRY! I COULD NEVER SPILL IT TO YOU
    NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TOO,

    EMPTY SPACES IN MY HEART
    THINKING PHRASES TO MAKE THE START
    TO MAKE THE START
    TO TELL YOU
    HOW IT WAS WHEN I DID START,
    AND HOW IT IS WHEN WE HAVE TO DEPART.
    COME TO ME CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU
    BABY JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT THIS WORLD
    NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT
    BEFORE FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU
    THINK ABOUT ME
    WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME
    WITHOUT YOU
    DON’T LEAVE ME
    CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
    NEVER KNEW WHAT LOVE WAS
    UNTIL I MET YOU
    FORGOT WHO AM I, AFTER
    SPENDING TIME WITH YOU
    TIME WAS RUNNING FAST, AND I KNEW
    OUR LOVE WOULD NOT LAST
    KNEW I HAD TO SPILL IT ALL TO YOU
    AND SPILL IT REAL FAST
    JUST NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU
    NEVER CARED ABOUT YOUR PAST
    WANTED TO BE BEFORE YOU
    ON MY KNEES HOLDING YOUR HANDS
    ASKING YOU TO BE WITH ME
    TILL MY LAST
    BUT THAT SURE WAS A DREAM
    FOR I CAN’T BEAR THE HEAT IN YOU
    STARE AT YOU THROUGH YOUR EYES
    NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TOO

    I DON’T KNOW WHY?
    AND KNOW IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER
    FOR HOWEVER HARD I TRY
    I HAD LOST HER, LOST HER
    FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE
    AND IT ALL HAPPENED DUE TO
    THAT NULL COURAGE IN ME
    AND NO ENCOURAGE TO PROCEED, FEAR
    NEVER LET IT DESTROY YOUR LIFE
    LIKE IT HAD DONE TO ME
    FOR I COULD NEVER ASK FOR HER, FROM HER
    NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TOO


    ---THE BARD
    ---SAMEER UDUPA




    Submitted on 2007-02-10 06:07:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey.
    its almost been 6 months since you wrote this piece. is this how you still feel?

    i think you could prolly say this a whole lot more concisely and less repetitiously.
    you prolly ought to give some thought to losing the clichés too...
    love/love lost is hard to write about in a new/original way because so many people have written about it and some days it seems theyve taken all the best imagery but i dont think this is so... it just means we have to work harder to come up with better imagery is all.

    you go round and round and round in the same circle. the crux of this piece is that you loved her but didnt have the guts to tell her?

    im sure you may have been told this before but i found the whole piece in capitals a little off putting but im sure it is just because i havent read anything all in caps for a long time.

    so yeah... i think you could prolly revisit this piece and make it into some more effective but thats just me.
    | Posted on 2007-07-22 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This touched me on some unknown level. Returning the favor for your support. I love my fans. Hehe
    <3 Kat
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      thanx stef
    i mailed u but u didnt reply
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by SAMEER | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,
    I loved the repetition in this poem, it made me think of a trance or something that has taken possesion of you. I think the rhythm of the poem worked well, however at some points it loses its flow and becomes disjointed - which I suppose helps to create the sense of regret in the poem.
    Great stuff,
    Stef
    | Posted on 2007-02-10 00:00:00 | by steffunni | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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