it was simple and good and the rhyme was really good. good stuff. i enjoyed it. i understood it -- for some reason i have been having a little trouble understanding some of the stuff around, but yours was easy to grasp -- which is good:)
This is a difficult subject to craft a poem around. It has been used for centuries. If one chooses to tackle such a subject one needs to be truly original. How did it make YOU feel, what did it smell like to YOU and etc. Personalize it and try to stay away from clichés, I am soory I cannot be more positive but I felt like " the same ole, same ole" with this piece.