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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ran Awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainin_Raspbery
    ASL Info:    22/F/Edmonton/AB/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.45 - 145/140/109
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 482



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRan Awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've ran far,
    Running from the pain,
    So i dont feel the sting,
    When the bee,
    Sweeps the stinger in my skin.

    I dont Quit think you get it,
    my heart ache
    I try not to blame
    but how can i not
    for i am in pain
    like nothing comes and saves it

    so i ran far
    far away from you two
    but it aint far enough
    cause im still
    not breathing, im suffocating inside




    Submitted on 2007-02-11 13:44:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      First of all, the general idea was good. I'm not sure if it was your style, if it is then yeah cool style, but the grammar tripped me up in a few places. I dunno, it just seems like it could flow a bit better if the grammar was adjusted. Don't hate me, just trying to be helpful.
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by sadistchild | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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