Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Brandidots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sageeriol
    ASL Info:    23/male/GA.
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 314/322/106
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 899
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 925



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBrandidots
    -------------------------------------------


    He gave up friends for her
    Gave up a familiar life for her
    Threw away his release for her.
    He gave so much and got nothing back,
    But for some reason he cannot bring himself
    To stop loving her.
    He found an angel in her
    Found honesty in her
    Had love in her.
    He let go of his soul and watched as she shattered it,
    Yet he still cannot bring himself to forget about her.
    He cried fo her
    Changed for her
    Was clean for her
    He gave her his heart and watched her butcher it,
    But he cannot let himself give up on her.
    He fled for her
    He bled for her
    Felt dread for her
    He took her promise and watched her rip it away,
    But he cannot make himself stop wanting her to this day.
    She took him and broke him
    She watched him reborn
    Then she broke him again and left him for dead.




    Submitted on 2007-02-12 11:58:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow...this has leia written all over it man....why do we always manage to get the whores? f u c k e r s!
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by Master Bates | [ Reply to This ]
      good write.very sad tho,and i no how you feel.even tho you hate her for what she did you still love her...its so sad,but happens much to often.keep it up sage.
    ~safire~
    | Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      A very personal, and emotive poem. I liked the structure and the repeats of certain ideas and phrases, the repetition makes it stick in your head...
    I also liked the religios connotations that were in the poem...like angel and reborn...it added something special...
    And yes, most people do go through something like this...when they realise that a relationship isn't working because it's not two sided anymore...one person is continually giving - the other is taking and hurting...and then as you said so neatly...leaves you for dead...
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
      verry emotional and sad poem, seems like you went through hell and have had a taste of loves dark side, giving but not recieving, i think all of us go through an expierience like this in some time of our lives, still it hits some harder than others, maybe someday you will find, expierience true love, well i hope to find it too, nice work
    gerry
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    134631

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry