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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soleildots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HaldirLives
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 234/149/60
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1032



    Description:
       Inspired by MCR songs, particulary The Black Parade cd. I think of it as a song in my head, but it probably works better as a poem since there's no chorus. Just tell me what you thought of it, how you interpret it, and other such fun things.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoleildots
    -------------------------------------------


    Decaying, fraying, saying,
    9 months 'til expiration.
    8 months 'til expiration.
    7 months 'til expiration.

    But I can't wait for that day,
    Counting and shouting for help.
    Red Xes on my calendar
    For each pint of blood.
    Take it all this time for me
    And leave me dying of thirst.

    She'll swallow me whole
    Before entropy envelops.
    What a sin this pain is.
    What sin is this pain?
    Soleil, take me whole.
    Can't wait for the bits.

    6 months 'til expiration,
    And I can't keep waiting.
    Parts are falling, spinning off,
    Leaving the pull I feel.
    Soleil, take me whole.
    Can't wait for the bits.

    Lying in bed, impotent and inept,
    5 months 'til expiration date.
    Time is pressing, creeping, waiting
    For my insides to sour.
    I'll take the pieces left,
    And leave you a rouge hole.




    Submitted on 2007-02-13 14:14:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

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