Shadow of My Heart

Author: MysterydarkPoet ASL Info:    20/f/Aust Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173 Words: 94

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 708 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 638

Description:

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Shadow of My Heart

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Chasing your shadow and my hollow dreams with only black blood pumping through my veins it's stinging at my heart, & ripping the handsewn seams But it's a bittersweet sting to this pain It comforts my hope but blackens my blood oh don't desert me. There's something rich about this memory of mine it's a rich dark shadow of your love thats dead my heart holds it dear, and won't leave it behind comforting itself but clouding my head you've been gone for years and yet i can't fill this space.

Submitted on 2007-02-13 16:41:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I love the title, and I like the idea of the poem. However, it would be so much better if it were more structured, instead of sort of jumping around a bit, and having a complicated sort of rhyme scheme. I know that some poems are just outpouring of emotion, but I promise you, if you really sit down and put the jumble of thoughts together in a more ordered form, your work will be so much better for it.

| Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

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