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Chasing your shadow and my hollow dreams
with only black blood pumping through my veins
it's stinging at my heart, & ripping the handsewn seams
But it's a bittersweet sting to this pain
It comforts my hope but blackens my blood
oh don't desert me.
There's something rich about this memory of mine
it's a rich dark shadow of your love thats dead
my heart holds it dear, and won't leave it behind
comforting itself but clouding my head
you've been gone for years and yet
i can't fill this space.
| I love the title, and I like the idea of the poem. However, it would be so much better if it were more structured, instead of sort of jumping around a bit, and having a complicated sort of rhyme scheme. I know that some poems are just outpouring of emotion, but I promise you, if you really sit down and put the jumble of thoughts together in a more ordered form, your work will be so much better for it.||| Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ] |