This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Shadow of My Heart


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 94
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 708
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 638



Description:




Shadow of My Heart



Chasing your shadow and my hollow dreams
with only black blood pumping through my veins
it's stinging at my heart, & ripping the handsewn seams
But it's a bittersweet sting to this pain

It comforts my hope but blackens my blood
oh don't desert me.

There's something rich about this memory of mine
it's a rich dark shadow of your love thats dead
my heart holds it dear, and won't leave it behind
comforting itself but clouding my head

you've been gone for years and yet
i can't fill this space.




Submitted on 2007-02-13 16:41:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I love the title, and I like the idea of the poem. However, it would be so much better if it were more structured, instead of sort of jumping around a bit, and having a complicated sort of rhyme scheme. I know that some poems are just outpouring of emotion, but I promise you, if you really sit down and put the jumble of thoughts together in a more ordered form, your work will be so much better for it.
| Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



134789