Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kession
    ASL Info:    18~M~ok
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 115/156/63
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 819



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    your eyes are as bright,
    as a blue summer sky,
    and you light up the room,
    with your wonderful smile.

    your skin is as soft,
    as silk on my lips,
    and i long to feel the touch,
    of your smooth fingertips.

    you're easy on the eyes,
    and you're sweet to my taste,
    i'm greatful i met you,
    i'm greatful for fate.

    i sit by the phone,
    waiting for your call,
    we could probably sit for hours,
    talking about nothing at all.

    i could hold you forever,
    in my arms,
    being your man,
    and keeping you from harm.

    i love you more,
    than anything in this world,
    i'm lucky i found you,
    i'm happy you're my girl.




    Submitted on 2007-02-13 23:22:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *sigh* another valentines day sucker... Thats not a bad thing. Your poem was cute, the kind that anyone young or old could sit down and understand. For me at least, it brings happy memories to mind, kind of like a rolling film. There are some parts that are choppy, just not keeping consistent with the flow of the poem like

    your skin is as soft,
    as silk on my lips,
    and i long to feel the touch,
    of your smooth fingertips.

    I find myself rushing over the third line in order to keep tempo.
    Anyway, cute write. You have a lucky girlfriend who has someone who she can recieve poetry from.
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by caelyn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    134831

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry