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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Valentines Poem by Kasedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kase
    ASL Info:    27, Winnipeg
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169/398/234
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1225
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 802



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Valentines Poem by Kasedots
    -------------------------------------------


    she wears such lingerie, while drinking her red wine
    among the other customs celebrating valentines
    she blows such sweet kisses, pouting her thickened lips
    her body sways in all directions by the movement of her hips

    im staring at her in the eyes, her softened greenish greys
    actions so erotic that my heart and mind both crave
    instinctively she wraps herself gently around my waist
    moving in a little closer so that i can have a taste

    her tongue is moist, as it slightly grazes behind my ear and down my neck
    forever playing foreplay as a substitute for sex
    she looks me directly in my eyes and gives me a little peck
    and after all of that arousal, she asks me for her cheque

    what a bitch.....




    Submitted on 2007-02-14 12:02:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      LMFAO sucks buddy lol just wow. my grandmas givin me the eye of " have you lost your mind?" that ending was very unexpected!
    | Posted on 2013-09-29 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      it was nicely done
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I somehow missed this poem....I loved it it had such an errotic feel then the ending made me laugh so hard my co workers thought i had finally lost it, and i agree.....what a [censored] <haha>


    AL
    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      This well written like all or other works a lil choppy in some areas but it work out perfectly fine.

    "her tongue is moist, as it slightly grazes behind my ear and down my neck
    forever playing foreplay as a substitute for sex
    she looks me directly in my eyes and gives me a little peck
    and after all of that arousal, she asks me for her cheque

    what a [censored]....."

    That was my fave part of the piece expect a sweet ending but it wasn't at least for da guy.

    well hope to hear from ya and keep up the good work..

    Lil'Mix
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      This well written like all or other works a lil choppy in some areas but it work out perfectly fine.

    "her tongue is moist, as it slightly grazes behind my ear and down my neck
    forever playing foreplay as a substitute for sex
    she looks me directly in my eyes and gives me a little peck
    and after all of that arousal, she asks me for her cheque

    what a [censored]....."

    That was my fave part of the piece expect a sweet ending but it wasn't at least for da guy.

    well hope to hear from ya and keep up the good work..

    Lil'Mix
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      This well written like all or other works a lil choppy in some areas but it work out perfectly fine.

    "her tongue is moist, as it slightly grazes behind my ear and down my neck
    forever playing foreplay as a substitute for sex
    she looks me directly in my eyes and gives me a little peck
    and after all of that arousal, she asks me for her cheque

    what a [censored]....."

    That was my fave part of the piece expect a sweet ending but it wasn't at least for da guy.

    well hope to hear from ya and keep up the good work..

    Lil'Mix
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      well then.....i was really enjoying it, beginning to slip into the speaker's place and you set it up quite perfectly and then the ending was a completely original surprise and totally unexpected.....not something easily done these days...

    also its easy to read and entertaining as well as having a defined style and flow that is anything but juvenile...

    spiffy
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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