love like a rose by dismentled

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Submission Name: love like a rose dots

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Author:	dismentled
ASL Info:	24/M/"South of Heaven"
Elite Ratio:	4.12 - 619/551/200
Words:	110

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	253
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	756

Description:
Happy fuckin' valentines! This is like the first thing in nearly 2 months I wrote, hope it's not complete shyt!

love like a rose dots

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love like a rose;
it pricks underneath your skin
love like a rose
feels like poison, but you let it in
it falls to pieces
it all falls apart
a subtle death
lying from the start

it goes from blood
and turns to black
a lucious life,
falls from the path.
a velvety touch
to sooth your skin
but the poisons
already been let in

It's so beautiful
it's such a pain
as every petal
finds death again.
all the wretchedness
that tears you apart
as your soul
dies in your heart
...
another petal falls like a star
love like a rose
it all all falls apart

Submitted on 2007-02-14 17:23:48 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I taste alot of pain in this piece. it makes me feel like love can Betray you and harm you just like people can. This is true. I loved how you put all your emotions into this piece, and compared a rose and it's thorns to love.
very creative and strongly felt.
nice write. i always love your poems.

~MaGgIe
PEACE
| Posted on 2007-07-29 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is great to you are one talented person, I love your work, sorry it's been a while since I been here just been busy and working alot.
This one I am sure alot people have had this feeling before but maybe can't express it as well as you have with your words. Keep up the great writing I always enjoy reading your work.
| Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW... the end kind of threw me off but other than that it was really really great. it paints a wonderfully vivid picture in my mind!
Thank you....

~MaGgIe

Please send a comment or two my way when you get a chance. Please read; "Spinning,Swirling to cout the moments of pain".
That would be great!

Peace.
| Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
  like DUDE this poem is real.

yeahh...

i think everyone has a thorny love poem to get out.

good one mannn.

peace yo

Da Grim Reaperesssssssss
| Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
  Let me start out by saying the little blue eyed boy in the picture is absolutely gorgeous. Now with that out of the way... I love this piece maybe because my middle name is rose or because I love how you so simply put these words together. Not one line over bears another one and as simple as the language is it is just as deep. You have a very great style to your writing. I cant wait to check out more of your pieces. I am going to add this one to my favorites. Maybe sometime you can check out mine.
-Hill
| Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  This was really good. I have but one comment

but the poisons
already been let in

change in to inside perhaps, it makes it seem less forced
| Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow captain cynical, nice for "it's been about 2 months" material;). OK well....in all honesty I might write something sort of like this, and I listen to more cynical, depressing stuff so maybe I'm being a little critical just cause I expect a lot *from you* but this was really far from your potential. But alright, I'll give you a very quick, possibly (hopefully not completely) pointless mass of observations, relations, etc. k?
rose? it's V-day, you're criticizing the whole deal and you can't think of something a tad less overdone? well....it's not a horrible case though, I never much liked roses anyway...they always end up poking you.
but if you enjoy the poison as much as the absence of it, who's to blame when you're there with welcoming arms?
You almost constantly reminded me of Davey's overall writing style....for one thing, "love like a rose", "Love like winter".... I do hope you know I'm still speaking of his better writes, his older stuff as well as maybe days of the pheonix, but home is nowhere and the great disappointment etc. I did like the concept of "subtle death" I think thats what I was getting at with my alias on here...I Really just wanted to think of something and I had an extraemo moment and thought of someone dying unnoticed- 'silently'. (as opposed to my second best idea....."Sixth intention" I just love the way that sounds.) but we're dying constantly, we may as well die (or "live") somewhat productively, right?
damn, you're depressing, I"m actually quite happy with love right now....obviously that varies
good write, I don't really have any suggestions, it was missing a hugely memorable impact- none of it shocked me exactly but that's alright.

-Jessie-
| Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

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