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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: love like a rosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 756



    Description:
       Happy fuckin' valentines! This is like the first thing in nearly 2 months I wrote, hope it's not complete shyt!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslove like a rosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    love like a rose;
    it pricks underneath your skin
    love like a rose
    feels like poison, but you let it in
    it falls to pieces
    it all falls apart
    a subtle death
    lying from the start

    it goes from blood
    and turns to black
    a lucious life,
    falls from the path.
    a velvety touch
    to sooth your skin
    but the poisons
    already been let in

    It's so beautiful
    it's such a pain
    as every petal
    finds death again.
    all the wretchedness
    that tears you apart
    as your soul
    dies in your heart
    ...
    another petal falls like a star
    love like a rose
    it all all falls apart




    Submitted on 2007-02-14 17:23:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I taste alot of pain in this piece. it makes me feel like love can Betray you and harm you just like people can. This is true. I loved how you put all your emotions into this piece, and compared a rose and it's thorns to love.
    very creative and strongly felt.
    nice write. i always love your poems.

    ~MaGgIe
    PEACE
    | Posted on 2007-07-29 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great to you are one talented person, I love your work, sorry it's been a while since I been here just been busy and working alot.
    This one I am sure alot people have had this feeling before but maybe can't express it as well as you have with your words. Keep up the great writing I always enjoy reading your work.
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW... the end kind of threw me off but other than that it was really really great. it paints a wonderfully vivid picture in my mind!
    Thank you....

    ~MaGgIe

    Please send a comment or two my way when you get a chance. Please read; "Spinning,Swirling to cout the moments of pain".
    That would be great!

    Peace.
    | Posted on 2007-06-28 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      like DUDE this poem is real.

    yeahh...

    i think everyone has a thorny love poem to get out.

    good one mannn.

    peace yo

    Da Grim Reaperesssssssss
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      Let me start out by saying the little blue eyed boy in the picture is absolutely gorgeous. Now with that out of the way... I love this piece maybe because my middle name is rose or because I love how you so simply put these words together. Not one line over bears another one and as simple as the language is it is just as deep. You have a very great style to your writing. I cant wait to check out more of your pieces. I am going to add this one to my favorites. Maybe sometime you can check out mine.
    -Hill
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. I have but one comment

    but the poisons
    already been let in

    change in to inside perhaps, it makes it seem less forced
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow captain cynical, nice for "it's been about 2 months" material;). OK well....in all honesty I might write something sort of like this, and I listen to more cynical, depressing stuff so maybe I'm being a little critical just cause I expect a lot *from you* but this was really far from your potential. But alright, I'll give you a very quick, possibly (hopefully not completely) pointless mass of observations, relations, etc. k?
    rose? it's V-day, you're criticizing the whole deal and you can't think of something a tad less overdone? well....it's not a horrible case though, I never much liked roses anyway...they always end up poking you.
    but if you enjoy the poison as much as the absence of it, who's to blame when you're there with welcoming arms?
    You almost constantly reminded me of Davey's overall writing style....for one thing, "love like a rose", "Love like winter".... I do hope you know I'm still speaking of his better writes, his older stuff as well as maybe days of the pheonix, but home is nowhere and the great disappointment etc. I did like the concept of "subtle death" I think thats what I was getting at with my alias on here...I Really just wanted to think of something and I had an extraemo moment and thought of someone dying unnoticed- 'silently'. (as opposed to my second best idea....."Sixth intention" I just love the way that sounds.) but we're dying constantly, we may as well die (or "live") somewhat productively, right?
    damn, you're depressing, I"m actually quite happy with love right now....obviously that varies
    good write, I don't really have any suggestions, it was missing a hugely memorable impact- none of it shocked me exactly but that's alright.

    -Jessie-
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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