Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

rain


Author: Sanjhana
ASL Info:    21/f/India
Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 118 /154 /45
Words: 38
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 843
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 264



Description:




rain



heavens cry
hard tears from the sky
they wash away my sins

flash of light
even amidst the fright
brings some joyous colour

a rumbling roar
then there's more
awakens my soul from slumber




Submitted on 2007-02-15 12:16:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Hey Sanjhana,

I did like reading this, your poem........"Rain"...it is short and sweet ..........this rhyme scheme does have a charm of its own.

You have put these thoughts down well in words ........... quite unique and dramatic.

It is good that you have managed to squeese in some alliteration too........

The last verse was what I liked best of the three verses :

"a rumbling roar
then there's more
awakens my soul from slumber"

'rumbling' and roar'
'then' and 'there's'
'soul' and 'slumber'


Good work.
| Posted on 2007-12-14 00:00:00 | by mdsouza | [ Reply to This ]
  Watch out awakened souls wreak their own storms before the calm comes!!! Enjoyed the read...light and easy yet captured the essense of being awakened by a storm. Also offers a deeper read to me

xxxx
| Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
  Watch out awakened souls wreak their own storms before the calm comes!!! Enjoyed the read...light and easy yet captured the essense of being awakened by a storm. Also offers a deeper read to me

xxxx
| Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
  I love it. The begginning was a little bit rocky for me, like I didnt know if it was a merely physical or emotional poem. But in the end it had grown into something much more emotional. I really liked the last stanza. Keep up the good work!

-Randee
| Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]
  Beautiful!
What more can a person say?
Just beautiful.

Ooooo...if you read it and take out the words "the, and" and "which" from it, its just as cool.

Ooooo...do that and then read it from bottom too top.

Cool stuff, thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Merry Meet Sanjhana. This is an awesome poem. It's short but says alot. My favorite stanza Is the second. I hope to see more of you. Blessed Be Andrea
| Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



134989