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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Him, After Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1121
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1396



    Description:
       Well....this girl loves somebody right. She's known only him...she's experienced only him and when she's forced to move on...when she has that next experience...she realizes..that even though it may not have been BAD...it will never be what it was...with her one...her true..her love. I guess I wrote it in reference to the next guy...the guy that comes AFTER the one you love.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHim, After Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    For the first time,
    I wasn't seeing your face.
    His hands on my body,
    Somehow separated me,
    From everything I couldn't forget about you.
    For a moment I found myself lost,
    In whatever connection it was,
    That me and him shared.
    In that second,
    I believe I forgot your name,
    And I was free from the chains,
    Of love that still bind me to you.
    I questioned my actions not once,
    As I focused my body solely on him.
    His lips upon mine,
    Took me to an unexperienced place,
    That for the first time,
    Didn't involve you.

    Looking back now, though, I see,
    His shoulders weren't quite as wide,
    And his lips not quite as full.
    His touch was warm,
    But not electric.
    He held my face in his hands,
    Just the way you did,
    But without love or desire,
    To have me in any other way.
    I was not an object of his love,
    But only of lust.
    His eyes revealed curiousity, not knowledge,
    And as his hands traced new territory,
    I remembered how your hands,
    Had known every inch of me.
    Looking back, I don't regret,
    The experience of him,
    But I realize fully,
    No man will ever be you,
    And no love what it was,
    When I was with you.




    Submitted on 2007-02-15 19:49:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      :::Wow is all I can say, once again your writing has captivated me. Perhaps it is your simple description that makes it so entrancing and grabs my interest and makes my throat grab. This style you have is something intriguing to me, not sure if your style is something out of the ordinary and revolutionary but it definitely inspires me and has me enjoying it.:::

    :::This is the second poem of yours that I have read and both are worth adding to my favorites (I'm highly considering it). If you ever think of changing anything, don't change the style just gain some creative phrases.:::

    -Geremy
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, I loved that. You expressed the motions very well, and I loved the flow of the piece and think you chose your wording wisely.

    I have no contrustive criticism to offer you, I thought it was wonderful. I think we've all felt like that at one point or another. It's never easy to get over someone, and I don't think we ever fully do.

    Cheers and happy writing!

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]


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    135041

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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