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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Detachdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Magnolia Steele
    ASL Info:    30/female/Northwest CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 2492/1825/232
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 931
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 298



    Description:
       It has been awhile since I posted anything here at Elite. Here is a new poem for you guys I wrote a while back. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDetachdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'll cut along
    the dotted lines,
    clip away
    the little scraps
    of doubt
    before I change
    my mind,
    severing
    what is left of my
    nerve-
    ending my
    need to be
    a part of you.




    Submitted on 2007-02-15 21:39:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Trina girl! I am glad to see that you are still out there - haven't been around myself.

    How are things?

    I've felt detached lately and this little piece was like a piece of an emotional jigsaw puzzle. I look forward to getting back to reading your writes!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, it appears that I'm not the only ghost around here, so I don't feel bad anymore. This is truly good, but and it made me think, not of reidding myself of a person or something detremental, but rather(and this may be simply personal experience talking) but I see it as casting a part of the self away, the part of you that you find to be essential to who you are, but I suppose that it oculd really apply to any of the above. I'd be on more often, except that I have truly had neither desire, nor need to write of late. if you feel like responding and starting a conversation, then I'll keep checking back, otherwise, I'll be content to be a wraith for a while longer, until I have a need to write again. I'll check back soon.
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by Rastine Aristat | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...interesting. Kind of reminds me of cutting coupons out of the newspaper and throwing away the coupons for bad food even though its tempting to buy because of the good deal, and keeping the coupons for the food thats good for ya.

    I like it.

    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Maggie

    First off it is so GOOD to see you posting again
    I really missed seeing your name here at Elite
    You are truly a Friend and I am very Happy to see you back!!!!
    In this write I believe you have made up your mind to let the Past go in reference to someone who you thought was a soulmate
    This is very hard to do and I know by putting your thoughts into words you feel much better about your decision
    These few little words wrap up your whole feeling perfectly

    I am doing Great in New Jersey back with my Mom
    Shes still a little sick but she tells me every day Thank God I am here to Help her
    She just submitted 3 new writes on my page if you get a chance Please let her know what you think
    Again it is GREAT to have you back
    I really missed you
    God Bless
    Your Dear Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. Though short, it got the point across. They only thing I didn't like was the lack of emotion. It sounded if it was being read by someone with a dull voice and a void mind. Not saying that's how you are. But with the poem being so simple and lacking adjectives, it did seem quite boring. If it hadn't been the topic, I wouldn't have liked it. Keep up the nice work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-02-15 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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