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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Le Shaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 622



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLe Shaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    says she to her own reflection
    never have I seen such love in mind
    and loving one's own reflection
    and with this love, she gazedinto her eyes

    so much that I began to cry
    and upon weeping saw her hearts deceit
    and sorelywishedit would die
    fancy she must, eachbreathe of hersshe doth entreat

    she should be fat from such conceit
    yet hungry still for more
    was I reduced to begginather feet
    to look upon the face of a whore

    and the whore did earn hername
    this love for her love, only she could claim




    Submitted on 2007-02-16 09:07:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      S1:
    Remind me of Narcissus.

    S2:
    This stanza confuses me. I'll explain after the stanza bit.

    S3:
    I like this stanza the most. Especially, "she should be fat from such conceit". The idea of feasting on one's own selfishness and beauty is interesting to me. Actually gives me an idea.
    Though, there's confusion for me again.

    S4:
    Confusion again.

    Confusion:
    I understand the piece is about a person. I'm lost mostly on the "I" parts. The first stanza gives me the impression of discussing one person and that person's vanity, but then later on you throw in "I", which is distinctly separate from the subject.
    So the "I" bits either deal in the idea of jealousy, or feeling inferior.

    In S2 I wonder why the speaker cries. Because the speaker is jealous, feels inferior? What is the hearts deceit. I'm just confused by the whole thing and failed to break it down into anything sensible.

    Then, S3 I can not figure out if L2 is in reference to the subject or the speaker. If the speaker, why does this reduce the speaker? If the subject, same question. It doesn't make sense to me.

    The last stanza, I do not know what any of the previous stuff has to do with the subject earning her name. I assume the name "Le Shay" is what we're speaking of. If "whore" is the name earned, then I can find some sense in it.

    Overall
    I know this is an old piece, which is good as I find it too confusing to be any good. I think the running together of words is interesting, but at the same time can find no real reason for you to have done so, aesthetically, thematically, or otherwise.

    If I didn't know this was about a person (if you changed the title to something not suggesting a name) then I would be largely lost in what you were going for.
    | Posted on 2008-10-01 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      ahhh, i remember reading this too
    i cant remember why i havent commented on so much of these
    anyway
    this is pretty, and accurate and a lovely style, but for some reason it doesnt seem like you, or the idea of you that i have in my mind....i dont know why its like that, but as nifty as this is it still seems like someone else wrote it....

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


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