[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Wishdots

    Author: Emo Angel
    ASL Info:    15/f/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 17/26/24
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 699

       Just something I wrote about a guy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Wishdots

    I see you everyday.
    You're so close
    But so far away.
    If I could wish apon a star
    I would wish you weren't so far.
    I want to be the one you want
    In your arms all day long
    Hold me tight
    All through the night.
    I think about you all the time
    Wishing & dreaming
    You could be mine
    My heart beats faster
    When I see your face
    My body shivers & it shakes
    From your beauty & your grace
    You look like an earth-bound god
    I see you everyday
    You're so close
    But so far away
    If I could wish apon a star
    I would wish you weren't so far.

    Submitted on 2007-02-16 09:44:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is one of those poems written for the purpose of brightening a few hearts and making a few smiles. Not to go into depth about societies issues, but to show about how love and loss can be. You did that very well.
    Thanks for sharing this lighthearted piece.
    | Posted on 2007-02-18 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, that's a sweet little poem, and sad at the same time. Nice emotion in there, and while your word choices are a little cliché, I think it turned out really well, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Overall, I think it's great :)


    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]