Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Darkness Drugs, and Alcoholdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: I_m not Broken
    ASL Info:    17/F/IDK
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 91/98/68
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 581
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1246



    Description:
       My cheating boyrfriend got me into a lot of bad shit. and i tried to kill myself when he took my 14 years old, best friends, virginity, on valentines day. ^_^ how sweet yea? Thats what this is about.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarkness Drugs, and Alcoholdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Searching for a truth
    Any reason to justify
    What they said as true
    Yet I'm running in circles
    Everywhere I search I find
    Darkness Drugs and Alcohol
    Falling from their graces
    Yet I just don't give a fuck anymore
    I'll lie in his arms tonight
    Stoned or drunk I'll smile
    This brings me happiness
    Darness drugs and alcohol
    How many times have I done this
    to myself?
    Do I care anymore?
    Hes lying with her tonight
    I'm in a pathetic denial
    A voice whispers, screaming to me
    Darkness drugs and alcohol
    Leave me stranded forgotten abonded
    Yet i'm still stretching out for his hand
    He glows in the darkness....
    I don't see her right behind him
    Smiling wickedly as she watches me dying
    Darkenss Drugs and Alcohol
    A pool of blood a stained knife in hand
    Hes running to me now, a fading memory
    Darling your pleas to your god are just to late
    Begging him not to take me won't stop this pain
    And i can see her next to you...
    My best friend smiling, she gave me my last dose of
    Darkness drugs and alcohol




    Submitted on 2007-02-16 10:10:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think most have us have been at the point during a point in our lives... where we think nothing will ever get better. I recently got into some stuff i shouldn't have after my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a friend i had had for about 6 years.. it was just a horrible situation but things always get better. Enough about my personal life. Good write one comment though, the second time you repeat "Darkness Drugs and Alcohol" you wrote "Darness" just a little typo but i thought i'd let you know. Keep writing

    J. Ackson Jr.
    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, reading your poem took me back to a nasty spot in my life too when I was 18. Is he your first love? That's how it happened for me, and I couldn't believe my world would ever knit itself back together after the agony of betrayal, but I'm 26 now, and grateful that I had those experiences so that it helped me decide what I would and wouldn't allow in my life again. It feels like it will hurt forever, and no one can lessen it for you, but hang in there.
    The last half of the poem is the most effective I think. My particular favorite set of lines is "he glows in the darkness... I don't see her right behind him". It's like that, where the objects of our love seem like beacons, and we're oblivious to everything but them.
    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by jramatique | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this was a real kick in the teeth for you and i'm sorry you got betrayed by those you cared the most for, but, it's happened to me my whole life so i understand how you feel. your words were very accurate here and it will make good sense to anyone who has ever attempted suicide. it was clear and right to the point and a good write with really good imagery! read my stuff, i've been where you are! it's not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new world for you...so you take heart :)
    keep writing!!!!!

    wade

    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135121

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry