As I...

Author: Midnight Rain ASL Info:    15/M/Connecticut Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 18 /16 /5 Words: 71

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 833 Average Vote:    4.0000 Bytes: 358

Description:

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As I...

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As I stare deep into your eyes I can't take my eyes off of you As I fall asleep and dream about you I can't take my mind off of you As I think about how sweet you are I cant stop talking about you As I feel you have no love for me I can't stop loving you

Submitted on 2007-02-17 08:58:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Well, I like it... I think your weakest line is here though: As I think about how sweet you are I cant stop talking about you because being sweet, and talking about someone are two very different things... Your other stanzas have some relationship between the lines... Overall though it was short, sweet and heartfelt. Good job.

| Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]

aw...

| Posted on 2007-02-18 00:00:00 | by TwistedMinded | [ Reply to This ]

My ex....hmm... Beautifully written. Dont listen to that jerk.

| Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]

This is cliché overdone and cheaply places, lacks skill and does nothing but butcher your own self esteem. sorry

| Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by ShomaSS | [ Reply to This ]

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