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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Asylum Boy, Entry 15dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkess
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 30/93/39
    Words: 334
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 1131
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2570



    Description:
       This is my fourth time trying to post this chapter. The first two times, my computer froze and I lost it, and the next, I logged out.

    Problem: This story is supposed to have a companion, in third person, to explain everything Dove didn't write. Should I start posting it now, until I catch up with where this story's at, then post them alternately? Or wait until this one's done and post it then, so my reviewers don't diminish completely once it's finished?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsylum Boy, Entry 15dots
    -------------------------------------------


         He, an emotional (emotionless?) shell, bending the borders of reality with his words. A story character with the perfect flaws only fiction can create.

         He, a trick, unreal just like the world he toys with. Taken from the stars, plucked from the heavens, tested, wingless now on earth. Reduced to nothing more than the people he envies.

         He'll do anything to break free now, and if he can't break free of his world, he'll at least break free of his life. Death is too cruel.

         He can laugh, he can cry, he can scream, he can sit as quiet and lifeless as possible.

         Not as if they ever hear the silence anyway.

         ...

         It was Seio's turn for 'Dove-watching' today. I tried to avoid his conversation. Not as if he has any right to talk to me. He never asked.

         ...

         Oh. Right.

         ...

         Her name is Lucianna. She has a slight case of amnesia. Apparently she has a fear of towels, and small spaces. She's very smart, can run very fast, and hates people who treat her as if she's any younger than fifteen.

         By the way, she's really only eleven. But it's rumoured that she framed her own brother for his girlfriend's murder.

         I asked Seio about her... (Yes, I talked to him. Once.) At least he's good for something.

         He told me she doesn't like to interact with people.

         Whatever. That shouldn't stop me. Obviously she doesn't like to interact with the doctors. And maybe she isn't as insane as the rest of us. Maybe she's scared.

         I want to talk to her, but she's new here so I'm not allowed. I don't want her to be scared of me, at least.

         It'll be so nice to see what she's like. Maybe she'll tell me about where she came from. Why she's here. Not like she has anything better to do.




    Submitted on 2007-02-17 15:18:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, she's interesting at least. I think that (given how far you progressed with Dove) you should continue in first-person and maybe write the third-person narratives as a parallel story--kind of like Orson Scott Card and Ender's Game/Shadow--related, but not exactly the same.

    Up to you, though.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Huh.

    Congrats, Jess. Writing a story about a kid that was convicted is drawing out all the kids that should be.

    "Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a [censored] big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers...Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of [censored] fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the [censored] you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing [censored] junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, [censored]ed up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got..."

    Asylum Boy.

    Haha! Thanks Trainspotting.

    Cheers.
    ~Orin
    | Posted on 2007-03-04 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      Awh. Me too. I'm so addicted to this story. I have written it on my school binder. That may seem kinda weird and all but, I really do love this story. And I try to get everyone I know to read it. <333
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by EbonyBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      Story crack @_@ *is a convicted asylum boy addict*
    | Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by (Eagle) | [ Reply to This ]
      Story crack @_@ *is a convicted asylum boy addict*
    | Posted on 2007-02-17 00:00:00 | by (Eagle) | [ Reply to This ]


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