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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Best Friend,dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: roxygirl239
    ASL Info:    14/f/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 450/305/44
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1205
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1429



    Description:
       I'm going to be honest i think this is really lame. These are the first lyrics i've ever written. Should i give it up already? I suck @ rhyming too. Well... any suggestions?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBest Friend,dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Only the
    Popular girl’s
    “Best Friend”
    But I’ve got some idea that
    It’s come to an end
    And if you think that there’s
    Nothing wrong
    You’ve been hanging around that bitch
    Way too long

    You haven’t thought about my vanished smile
    You only gossip there
    Since you’re in denial
    Too bad you don’t see these tears inside
    For all the times you’ve
    Lied and you’ve lied

    Stuck up bitch?
    I know I am
    Oh yeah! Of course I really
    Give a damn

    You can’t tease these eyes
    Forevermore
    Because they’re starting to get
    So fucking sore
    From looking at you…
    From looking at you…

    So maybe you’re the girl
    That gets all the guys
    But honey I don’t care
    That’s not my life

    And yes I’m trying to keep
    The whole world out
    Even though
    I’ve been trying to shout
    To you
    All the way over there


    So for now I’ll be
    Behind closed, locked doors
    But at least now
    My mind can soar
    Away from you…
    Away from you…

    I hate the way you
    Played with my life
    Like Lizzie Borden
    With a knife
    You stabbed and stabbed
    And now I’m gone
    I won’t bother you again
    Good bye.




    Submitted on 2004-06-07 15:24:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      number one, it's hard to judge lyrics without hearing them sung....
    number two, listen to the masses and don't be so hard on yourself. writing is a process. if we could all just pick up a pen and be fabulous there wouldn't be any fun in it. :)
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh, don't be so hard on yourself! This is really good. The first verse was a little weak compared to the rest of it, IMO, but the rest is very strong.
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by Erchomenos | [ Reply to This ]
      This was powerful... I loved it! I loved the Lizzie Borden reference. Your feelings of anger truly shine in this piece. Good job!
    | Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]


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    13525

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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