Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cycle of the Psychosdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jbills
    ASL Info:    30/m/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 57/68/29
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 541



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCycle of the Psychosdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We write from feeling
    Usually for healing

    Extend yourself down to me
    Friendly light
    Gimme fight
    Paint this night
    Forever white

    Limits are unfound gimmicks
    Giving rise to the cynics
    Subconsciously suppressing you
    Wherever you’re rancidly advancing to

    Forever carpe diem
    Forever harping freedom

    Couples in 2
    Rhymes are quite shrewd
    Searching for an abstract avenue
    To vent the mess through




    Submitted on 2007-02-20 06:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The way it flows and rymes makes it sound like a rap song. I like it but it could be longer. It sounds like an intro to a rap song that never got finished. If you decide to change it tell me kuz i want to read it.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by Dark Romeo89 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135438

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry