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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Captivate the Aftertastedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jbills
    ASL Info:    30/m/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 57/68/29
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 794
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 437



    Description:
       personal fav of mine


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCaptivate the Aftertastedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She came to say
    2gether, 2day
    We saw the sunrise
    And the sun lay

    Branded as I landed
    The dreadlocks,
    Faded flip-flops,
    And addiction to hip-hop

    We saw deeper than ever
    Without digging an inch
    Stand outside yourself
    It takes just one pinch

    The woman refusing to leave my dreams
    The siren who doesn’t scream





    Submitted on 2007-02-20 07:04:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed reading this, but I don't really think it made a significant impact on me enough to favourite it. I can see why you like it, I would too if I were you.

    We saw deeper than ever
    Without digging an inch
    Stand outside yourself
    It takes just one pinch


    I think that's well written. Why can't we have more of those simple-yet-so-outstanding stanzas?
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      i can see why you like it. it kinda spins. its this whirlwind of color and good times and stuff. "2gether, 2day"? usually i hate shortcuts like that, but this time it really fit. reminds me of sitting on the grass with the one you love next to you.

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]


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    135439

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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