Captivate the Aftertaste by Jbills

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Submission Name: Captivate the Aftertaste dots

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Author:	Jbills
ASL Info:	30/m/IL
Elite Ratio:	3.52 - 57/68/29
Words:	61

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	794
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	437

Description:
personal fav of mine

Captivate the Aftertaste dots

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She came to say
2gether, 2day
We saw the sunrise
And the sun lay

Branded as I landed
The dreadlocks,
Faded flip-flops,
And addiction to hip-hop

We saw deeper than ever
Without digging an inch
Stand outside yourself
It takes just one pinch

The woman refusing to leave my dreams
The siren who doesn’t scream

Submitted on 2007-02-20 07:04:06 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I enjoyed reading this, but I don't really think it made a significant impact on me enough to favourite it. I can see why you like it, I would too if I were you.

We saw deeper than ever
Without digging an inch
Stand outside yourself
It takes just one pinch

I think that's well written. Why can't we have more of those simple-yet-so-outstanding stanzas?
Cheers
Azuire
| Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
i can see why you like it. it kinda spins. its this whirlwind of color and good times and stuff. "2gether, 2day"? usually i hate shortcuts like that, but this time it really fit. reminds me of sitting on the grass with the one you love next to you.

i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
| Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]

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January 10 07
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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.