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    dots Submission Name: Maiden dots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 807
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1017


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    dotsMaiden dots

    I found a maiden weeping
    under a willow of all things
    I smiled at the irony
    and bent below the tendrils of soft leaves

    she wept for a boy
    you should not be surprised
    that I did not falter upon this news
    my lips did turn, thinking I was wise

    I've heard this tale before

    "Maiden, weep not"

    She did carry on
    accused me of not understanding
    I was almost angry
    for I understood all to well

    upon taking a moment, to pause
    and percieve the situation that I might be the maiden
    weeping under a willow
    with deep sorrow sautrating a red and rosy face
    and making it more crimson, and swollen

    and in this state
    being incredibly vulnerable
    with pain and miserable shame

    from my memory I recalled a time when I was a maiden
    and I left her to her sorrow
    to cry today
    and heal tomorrow

    Submitted on 2007-02-20 09:06:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a wonderful piece. Whether intended or not, the "irony" of the "weeping" willow in the beginning, seems (to me) to mirror the "irony" that you have been that same maiden. A very fine write.

    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by quelyn | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty, pretty, pretty!

    I could copy and paste the whole thing as my favorite lines, but that would be an absolute waste of time...you don't want to reread your own poem in my comment.

    I found this to be very lovely, though.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i do think this is quite interesting my dear, although i must say i am glad that you took my name off of it....i do not cry and get a swollen red face over anyone but myself...

    anyway, quite pretty and well written....at least its not a sonnet...

    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good Jazmine. I think everyone has had a time like this. Maybe not the maiden part, if you're a male, lol, but yes I think a lot of people can relate to this. I like the last lines of this poem, it really puts the saying, "time heals all wounds" into perspective. Very good poem.

    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      god i love this! this is seriously the best poem i've read today...out of the two...but i'll read more and it will still be the best out of the poems i've read today!! you'll be one of the few people on this site who's poetry i read more than one of.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]
      brilliant!! smashing!! wicked!!! doesnt everyone know how it is to be that maiden under the damn willow? to feel utterly alone and unloved? doesnt everyone know what it's like to stumble upon the maiden? to be accused of not understanding? and then realizing that solitude is the cure?
    "and I left her to her sorrow
    to cry today
    and heal tomorrow"
    my favorite lines. keep it loverly.

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]

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