Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: siren's calldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1037



    Description:
       written on a challenge from a friend to write of something other than a man that haunts my heart and soul, and so i wrote of a woman's shade that tempts a lover to her fold


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssiren's calldots
    -------------------------------------------


    the frothy waves lapped at the shore
    i sighed content, wanting nothing more
    my bare toes sunk in the grainy sand
    as i gazed out over the listless land
    an ocean of silky cerulean blue
    a parade of tides, ever true
    i heard the sirens song echoing
    against the sinking sun greatly glowing
    i watched the sunb begin to fade
    and that is when i saw the shade
    a vision in gold against the blue sky
    she called to me, her love a lie
    as she tempted me with all her might
    towards the shoreline in the inky night
    her voice enclosed me in a web
    of sultry fantasy and need
    she moved away as the water ebbed
    and wanting love, her words i did heed
    and crawled after her over silken pillows
    through harems of girls, thin as willows
    over glowing coals alight and flaming
    quite easily accepting my trial and taming
    and so i followed her fearlessly to the shore
    and so blindly i follow her ever more




    Submitted on 2007-02-20 12:52:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, this is heady stuff...a wonderful pace with some excellent rhyme and fine vocabulary here ... a tad reminiscent of "da Man", EA Poe, himself ... excellent poem ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo... michael
    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really good. well written and rhymed, (the rhyming changed for a couple of lines, after reading it a 2nd time i thought, it fitted in well)the subject is also an interesting one, i wrote a poem on the same subject, (she called to me, her love a lie, and so blindly i follow her ever more) my 2 favourite lines, it also finished the poem off well.nice poem. nice work
    gerry
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]
      i really wish i had thought of writing about sirens...it's a really good idea and you pulled it off well...i enjoyed it and it had a good ending.
    emily
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135472

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry