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    dots Submission Name: siren's calldots

    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1037

       written on a challenge from a friend to write of something other than a man that haunts my heart and soul, and so i wrote of a woman's shade that tempts a lover to her fold

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssiren's calldots

    the frothy waves lapped at the shore
    i sighed content, wanting nothing more
    my bare toes sunk in the grainy sand
    as i gazed out over the listless land
    an ocean of silky cerulean blue
    a parade of tides, ever true
    i heard the sirens song echoing
    against the sinking sun greatly glowing
    i watched the sunb begin to fade
    and that is when i saw the shade
    a vision in gold against the blue sky
    she called to me, her love a lie
    as she tempted me with all her might
    towards the shoreline in the inky night
    her voice enclosed me in a web
    of sultry fantasy and need
    she moved away as the water ebbed
    and wanting love, her words i did heed
    and crawled after her over silken pillows
    through harems of girls, thin as willows
    over glowing coals alight and flaming
    quite easily accepting my trial and taming
    and so i followed her fearlessly to the shore
    and so blindly i follow her ever more

    Submitted on 2007-02-20 12:52:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, this is heady stuff...a wonderful pace with some excellent rhyme and fine vocabulary here ... a tad reminiscent of "da Man", EA Poe, himself ... excellent poem ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo... michael
    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really good. well written and rhymed, (the rhyming changed for a couple of lines, after reading it a 2nd time i thought, it fitted in well)the subject is also an interesting one, i wrote a poem on the same subject, (she called to me, her love a lie, and so blindly i follow her ever more) my 2 favourite lines, it also finished the poem off well.nice poem. nice work
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]
      i really wish i had thought of writing about sirens...it's a really good idea and you pulled it off well...i enjoyed it and it had a good ending.
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]

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