I love this. I like how you linked them together.
My one sugestion-
Seperate it differently, since you have it going together so perfectly you should make the verses fit that perfection!
Kiss me under the fairest moon
That glitters pale in adherent eyes
Kiss me underneath the stars
That suspend themselves in clear, black skies
Kiss me under summer's night
That’s air is balmy, warm
Kiss me if those stars should fall
Then kiss me through the storm
Kiss me under all the grey
That forms above our lives
Kiss me under lightning flash
That looks like sharpening knives
Kiss me under shaded clouds
That rumble with internal strain
Kiss me if that cloud should burst
Then kiss me in the rain
-Shadow Doll
PS- I love how simple this is! - Not always, but once in awhile we need just a simple understandable poem, that touches our soul.
This poem is exceptionally fine ... (I have a suspicion that you read a great deal of poetry which is a GOOD thing, as many people simply don't read the old masters, which is a huge mistake) ... the last 10 or so lines are really quite excellent ... (may I make a humble suggestion? if you were to have the same number of syllables in each line--say, perhaps 8--the poem, I believe, would be much improved.) bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
Submission Name: Kiss Me
