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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: S.E. (See) White Liedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EmpathicAya
    ASL Info:    13+8/unMale/Your Mind
    Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 700/456/109
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1112
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 434



    Description:
       White plastic knife. The light was directly overhead, and reflecting off of the plastic. This was a fun one. Hope you like it.
    Be at peace,
    ~Azura*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsS.E. (See) White Liedots
    -------------------------------------------


    White, projecting a false
    sense of security, to
    take focus
    away from you small, pointy
    teeth. You gleam, almost
    menacingly, in a forbidden
    beauty
    that attracts the innocent
    to your curved handle, fitting
    appropriately in the hands of the
    meduim, who carries out your
    evil deeds.




    Submitted on 2007-02-20 16:23:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "white lie" is an interesting title for this.
    the attraction to the knife,
    "a forbidden beauty that attracts the innocent..."

    cutting is a subject for delving into the
    motive, where someone goes to that menacing place..

    provocative write, my friend.
    it is sharp and bare.

    blessings&love,
    ~Cat

    | Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is brilliant, especially since you tell us your inspiration. So why not make that idea into the title. Because I think if you don't have the notes, we'll miss the creative thread and that to me is the
    best part.

    I would name it "Ode to a Plastic Knife". Say lady, do you have any spork poems to offer us poor souls? Tell me more!

    thanks Goddess,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2007-03-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I always enjoy your poetry, and I'm very amused by your inspiration in this piece. Very nice. It's so amazing to me the things that can spark inspiration. If I weren't a writer, I think I would surely explode from all the thoughts that the world inspires with the simplest of things. :)

    This was a lovely write, very enjoyable. The only thing I noticed was you dropped an 'r' in your fourth line on the word "your" but you have "you" insetead. Otherwise, wonderful as always :)

    Cheers and God bless,

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      You pose an interesting ending but I quite have to disagree with it. The wielder doses out the evil, not the instrument.


    Now as far as suggestions go :


    "...sense of security,

    to take focus

    away from you(r) small,

    pointy teeth. You gleam,

    almost menacingly,

    in forbidden beauty

    that attracts the innocent

    to your curved handle,

    fitting appropriately

    in the hands of the medium,

    who carries out your evil deeds."

    How does all that look to you?
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by Fizzlethorpe | [ Reply to This ]
      short but full with a hint of a really evil act in the end. I don't really have a lot to say about this except that it's a nice write.

    -Sandi-
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]


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