Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Frozen Butterflydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1115
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrozen Butterflydots
    -------------------------------------------


    As the blank white snow drifts to the ground,
    Flakes floating dodging all around,
    A single frozen butterfly flutters without a sound.
    This puny insect has been raging for days,
    With all itís strength in the snow it will not lay,
    Resting it can not commit only aim south toward a warmer bay.
    Itís wings are crystalline and shimmering,
    The only thought that keeps him going is the warm desire lingering,
    Each flake against his body stinger-ing.
    This brave bug will never see a great butterfly throng,
    Itís wings canít hold out for long,
    The butterfly crashes into the snow where it belongs,
    And for him I wrote this Butterfly Requiem song.




    Submitted on 2004-01-31 13:23:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A very beautiful poem. I love the first three lines. May want to try to shorten the eighth line, however. Otherwise, great job.
    | Posted on 2004-02-02 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't find it humorous, nor sad, nor sweet, but rather thought provoking. Nice write.
    A butterfly always presents an interesting image, as does snow (and all things like it). A butterfly is fragile an snow is cold. Fragile yet cold....

    Great write. Favorites list, definitely.
    | Posted on 2004-01-31 00:00:00 | by JKPS613 | [ Reply to This ]
      poor poor butterfly.... humorous.... individually different.... i like this... nice job
    | Posted on 2004-01-31 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1355

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    To written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Push written by JanePlane
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry