FATHER LOOK AT ME
for I am ready for your face
so long my gaze strayed
played away from your swollen existence
Pennies heads up create luck
when plucked from faith
LOOK IN MY EYES
have the tables turned
as your skin grows old... dim and dull
Mine glows a fire existence
Phoenix from the flames
ELAIN
I need to know
built from your blood
floor up
you drained me dry like summer skies
streaked jet cloud cover
sister.....brother....Mother
difference of black sheep peaked by sweet abandon
MAN TO MAN
I stand before you
naked to the truth
raped by hate
soul bleeding on the floor like a first time whore
CAN YOU SEE ME?
Your skin burns in my light
eyes blind to my rebirth
Bow down to me
I AM YOUR GOD
ONLY I CAN FORGIVE YOU
Interesting piece. Raw emotion, graphic and ripe with emulation.
Great metaphor, “You drained me dry like summer skies”
Struggled with the line”Pennies heads up create luck when plucked from faith”
My only other advice is the title. Scores points on shock value, however, it may off-put some potential readers. You could probably rope more people into reading your poem using a less obtrusive title and then enjoy their comments as they grasp the true context of your poem.
Lastly, you should try being an atheist, makes life a lot less complicated, and fewer let downs. You also get full credit when your actions lead to great accomplishments in life. However, your thoughts are also appealing, being God to God. It has its cult upsides to consider.
Submission Name: Father's Whore
