[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Was it All Nothingdots

    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 1091
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672

       just something i wrote along time ago and thought it needed to be revised, now im not so sure id change anything.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWas it All Nothingdots

    I cannot figure out
    Why you haunt my thoughts
    Why memories keep replaying
    Or how I can feel your hands upon me
    We never had anything special
    Nothing exclusive to you and me
    But yet the memories remain
    You are gone from sight
    But yet your scent surrounds me
    The smell of your cologne
    The feel of stubble on your face
    Brushing my skin as we kissed
    It was never special
    And never exclusive to you and me
    But the memories remain
    You left me wanting so much more
    I thought you felt the same
    But I wanted more than
    You were able to give to me

    Submitted on 2007-02-20 22:12:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I understand the emotion in this. Like you feel like just giving up but then again there is still a chance. At the same time its just 'nothing special'. My only critique is that its kinda tough to read. How it is all put in one stanza, and the repetition within the one stanza of
    "It was never special
    And never exclusive to you and me
    But the memories remain"
    makes the reader distinguish a difference, therefore the poem could be split if you so desired. Otherwise its a pretty nice write, and I enjoyed it.

    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]