Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Meditation Within The Brotheldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 901
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 747



    Description:
       A sonnet influenced by Gerard Manley Hopkins.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Meditation Within The Brotheldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love’s no love, the barterer barters bale,
    Sells sin, sly--ah, but I buy, buy, buy!
    Delicious dead dread drug! I stop, I try…
    Run, reel, hungering heavily--you hail,
    Half feral, I flee not, I fall, flail, fail!
    Blind brass bed, butcher block, we lie and lie,
    Mouth purple poems most piously and sigh,
    And drift on savage seas without a sail!

    Winter storms, like maelstroms, staunch not my thirst,
    My typhoon heart’s lethal lust lusts, lest death
    Take me unfulfilled, scathed, scarred scarlet, cursed.
    Come corral me Christ! I, slave-chained, no breath
    Breathes in me, tremble tumble in tombs…
    Contrite my concrete heart consigned to dooms.




    Submitted on 2007-02-21 08:23:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very original and I loved the title and I agree with blu - the chant feel fits the intense feelings of the person in the sonnet and the feelings portrayed.

    Great!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an interesting piece you have here, but it seems different from your usual style...i like the rythm, the beat and flow that it has, almost chant like in its smooth and steady pounding (iambic pentameter? i dont know all the technical [censored], i just write it)
    it beats a pulse inside your brain driving you mad with the simplicity and loveliness of it.....its like rain drops on a tin roof that just cant stop....

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135573

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    prison written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Journey written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry