[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Blank Pages of Lovedots

    Author: Shadia Dark
    ASL Info:    17/F/California dreamin..
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 186/177/98
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlank Pages of Lovedots

    Staring at these blank pages
    Trying in vain to free these troubled thoughts
    With heartfelt words unspoken

    These devious machinations
    Of my wanton mind
    My inner demons
    Imbibing in my corruption

    My chained and hidden emotions
    Building up to break the dams
    of my impenetrable reserve
    My silent heart
    Waiting to destroy my stone façade

    The days come harder
    Every moment of solitude
    In my longing for you
    My ever present desire for your love
    It’s eating away at the last remaining pieces of my heart
    Taking from me
    All that I have left

    What is left here without you?
    A cold and empty shell of a girl
    Murdered by your love.

    Submitted on 2007-02-21 15:46:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well one thing is for sure, this has given us both a creative spark, no matter how depressing it is.... the last part is really strong, as is the whole poem, but the ending primarily.

    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh wow...this was extremely powerful and it got me thinking about stuff I try NOT to think about..but..wow...heartbreak...I think you captured it so well here. I think when we lose someone there are SO many feelings in our heart and in our minds...it really does seem like a dam could break at any moment. We're so used to having somone there so every second that passes truly is unbearable...and the company of others doesn't reall help...because there's only one person that can make it better....and they're not there anymore. The longing is neverending...and utterly debilitating...I guess the part that hit the hardest for me was the last part...the fact that without her love..all that's left is a cold and empty shell of a girl...murdered by love. It's so sad...but it's so true of a broken heart. Great write. I loved it. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2007-02-21 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]