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    dots Submission Name: Love?dots

    Author: Jbills
    ASL Info:    30/m/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 57/68/29
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 502


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Fiend for that gleam
    Which conveys a 2 person team
    A dream
    The perfect scene

    Luxurious lips luring your kiss
    Curious cheekbones slide to the sky
    Smiles for the truth that was our youth

    Should I have?
    Would we Have?

    Desire distracted
    She took my fire enacted
    And replaced it
    With a barb wire contraption

    All because
    The Goddess of love
    Seemingly had enough

    Submitted on 2007-02-21 18:07:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is really good. I'm not sure I fully understand "barb wire contraption" but think it relates to that which was good and now hurts.(cuts deeply) I certainly wouldn't change it. Very much like this. Q
    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by quelyn | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...I can say that this certainly shows a bit of bitterness, but I love how you're right up front. That 'In your face' attitude you're portraying here is really fitting for this piece as well.

    I hope you find what you're searching for, but none the less, as you said to me earlier in your post to me, I'll say to you in a different way....It's not always about keeping someone else waiting...

    Don't keep yourself waiting too long. You deserve love, just like everyone else. Capiche'?

    Smiles upon smiles,

    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by SorrelsReality | [ Reply to This ]
      Right on!! this piece is the bomb, i personally like the 1st stanza, but the overall is good, the 2nd stanza is cool, "smile for the truth that was our youth" a perfect picture painted
    Right On!!

    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by StylerDen | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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