Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

the item


Author: thewantedwords
ASL Info:    28 male sydney
Elite Ratio:    0.35 - 40 /40 /37
Words: 93
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 885
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 526



Description:




the item



My heart its so precious like land,
It get grabed by the palm of a hand,
When its threatened it gets distrest,
Knowing it could never rest,
Why do they sqeeze our only hearts,
So the can laugh at us and play the parts,
A human heart its not a joke,
But people still want my heart choke,
My heart is mine it belongs 2 me,
Am willing to give if you care to see,
Its not clone there can only be one,
its 4 me to share,not yours for fun.





Submitted on 2007-02-21 23:28:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  good point hearts are not to be messed with for my tiny pebble is loved and hurted, very cool write cought my intention keep up the style of being different, tyson
| Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



135675