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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Oracle©dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: babyblue002
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 438/254/44
    Words: 423
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 429
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2711



    Description:
       I want to thank Michael (Vancrown) for his valuable help.

    Mercury and Venus are considered evening and morning stars.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Oracle©dots
    -------------------------------------------





    I scrawled a draft of my life
    on a sea of mist
    crawling up the hill
    to catch up with my quick steps,
    I scribbled an imaginary world
    where the drops of rain
    could not riddle my skin
    where radiant suns were not enough to burn.
    I built myself a tower
    a mighty mausoleum to house my dreams,
    a sarcophagus of gold
    that suffocated any will to live.

    But the mist slowly caught up with me
    crept into my tower, blinded my insight.
    Seers find peace in retreat,
    my core will be consumed if not exposed to blue skies,
    like roses wilting in an abandoned urn.
    The mist withdrew, returned again,
    yet I failed to understand
    that life can’t be spent in a carcan.
    The mist does not shade things in grey,
    it fades away the colors
    and passionate dreams lose their fever,
    in a watery blink of an eye.

    Thorns grew on the road where my journey began,
    I left a trail of desolation behind.
    I looked for the Oracle of Mercury,
    the seer who only left a distant haven
    as the morning star rose on the mountains of echo.
    I climbed dusty, curvy roads to reach the steep summits
    that stood proud against the newborn day.
    I looked at the mist that blocked the view
    as the darkness recoiled before the clear blue,
    then I heard a soft voice from behind
    speaking just above a whisper.

    “Passion leads you to extreme heights,
    It makes you leave your qualms behind
    step on your distress and reach inaccessible goals,
    you only need to purify your heart and mystify your soul
    then let your ardor consume your apprehension,
    let it burn within you and turn you to fire,
    a blazing flame that lights your way.”
    And slowly, I turned around to face my guide
    only to find a reflection of me,
    glowing in the morning star’s light.

    Then I realized that the mountains of echo
    are the peaks that repeat the pure sounds within our heart
    free of the chains that imprison our essence,
    and the Oracle of Mercury is just
    the crystallized state of our mind
    where all becomes diamond clear.
    I looked down to where the mist waited for me,
    to find a lush valley and a powerful river
    gleaming bright in the morning sun.
    I climbed down the mountain lighthearted,
    my soul free.

    Now roses adorn the thorns of my journey…




    Submitted on 2007-02-22 06:56:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A journey to enlightment and self-discovery! What an excellent poetic tour this verse takes one on! It seems to appeal to one to forego inhibitions and doubts, and step forward with faith and courage! Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-07-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      A poem of beauty and self discovery. I like how the mist is like the tide, it comes and it goes. I think almost any poem with mist in it is pretty neat. Mist adds a certain je ne sais que to the poem.

    The last line shows how you discovered yourself and your true inner being, and finally your beauty could emanate and grow.

    A very interesting write, and I'd like to see more like this. Very good!
    | Posted on 2007-09-21 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...just...wow...
    | Posted on 2007-03-01 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I can write my own work a little and that's even debatable but I cannot for the life of me give feedback that's worth a damn. What I do, however is compliment work that I find stimulating, inspiring, and just plain kicks azz. This, my friend does all of the above. Cheers to a very impressive write. I'm afraid that is all that I can contribute:)

    6
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      A suggestion or two.

    The line:

    like roses wilt*ing* in an abandoned urn

    The "-ing" seemed to be needed here.

    And then in the last stanza, I would substitute "your" for "our" and change the other words like "heart" to "hearts" etc, to match. Feels less preachy and more transcendent, like we are One, kinda.

    Other than that, I think you did a wonderful job on this one. It's an ambitious poem, and a step in a different direction. It's one of the few pieces I've read from you that are this serious, but accessible (you tend to inject a lot of the whimsical, almost childlike into your poetry, and I've always loved that, but this works for me too). What I see here, too, is your desire to reach out and express things that may be considered ummm mysterious and mystical, and to share them with others.

    It's good to have you back, and posting again.

    More, more!

    Take care,

    M~

    Oh, and P.S. It was my pleasure.
    | Posted on 2007-02-22 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]


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