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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Being Yellow, Naturally I love youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1033
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1133



    Description:
       of course there is a metaphor, but it is shit. This will be the second piece of personal shit that I have written...who cares. I just want everyone to see that I am upset about this. I want them to know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeing Yellow, Naturally I love youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the sun rose from the corners of the world
    gold in all his glory
    smiling and tending to my curiosity
    like a child with awe I reached to him
    and loved every clever detail that he provoked

    so inspiring
    was his light
    so warm
    were the rays that he cast down
    tumbling in roses
    healthy from every nutrient that passed through my lips
    naturally I did love the lamp that lit the heavens

    and the gold was beautiful
    turned to yellow
    dimmed to natural light

    rays ran leaving me with the coldness of night
    stars and sattelites collide
    i smile
    worry more or less

    that I am so willing to lay down in the dark blue night
    sacrificing all the lovely inspirations
    of the yellowness
    I just sit back
    I just watch him

    from afar
    so hard to love what I can't reach
    that I decided not to bother

    goddamn the foulness of the sun
    the bright and dim never endingness of the fucking sun






    Submitted on 2007-02-22 13:47:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like it. keep posting. havent heard from you in a while. love peace and chicken grease






    tina
    | Posted on 2007-06-08 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really respect your openness and rawness here - there are many forms of poetic justice and this is one - I'm working on "The Artist's Way" and I write morning pages and they are "as thought" pages and I find myself using them for this epression of emotion.

    Great!

    Love,Peace,Joy & Smiles to Share

    tif
    | Posted on 2007-05-30 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write Jazmine. Good use of personification, and it seems to have pretty good structure.

    It seems like the speaker is chasing after something or someone, probably someone, that he/she can't have. Yes, damn "the bright and dim never endingness of the [censored] sun"....
    | Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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