Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bean Popperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jbills
    ASL Info:    30/m/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 57/68/29
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 767
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 777



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBean Popperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Party with no goals
    Insecure with no souls

    Strive to have drive
    Learn your lesson
    Laughing at life

    Euphoric endeavors
    Suffocate the clever
    Frustrated as fuck
    Socializing is severed

    A pessimistic session of sorts
    Concerning brain waves,
    And why your sight fades

    Do you want to cope,
    Like the post-experimental?
    Can you hope?
    Cusí these feelings are not a rental.

    Who knew this was
    The only buzz
    To cause permanent fuzz

    As dusted as a desert
    I trusted this treason
    For reasons on loan

    Holes that canít be sewn,
    Rolls with contents unknown






    Submitted on 2007-02-23 04:25:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'd say intense and stern like the look of a disappointed father. Flow issues yes, but who can talk straight in anger?
    | Posted on 2013-01-26 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Some flow issues, as people always say about my stuff. But yeah, I really like the idea and it is hard hitting. In the begginning it seemed kind of forced in the first stanza but then it turned into a sort of...I dont want to say forced...but tough. Like every stanza is like a thud in your mind. You read it and its like a brick falling down, but it continues throughout the poem as a sort of structure. So yeah...in conclusion I really liked it, it all worked out quite well.

    -Randee
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135803

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry