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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ignoredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maki
    ASL Info:    17/ female/ home
    Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 208/210/69
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1000



    Description:
       I am on this thing called a Youth Council which is a council that is apart of the city and reports to City council to let them know what the Teens of my city would like or tell them how to change the city for the better. Every year we put on this thing called a Youth Summit and its pretty much a huge gathering of High school kids. What we do there is many different leadership stuff to help build confidence and help them with what they need through activities and a motivational speaker(who was amazing this time around).

    So the night before we were setting up decorations and every time I asked if any one needed help or tried to give suggestions I was shut down and ignored. SO yea, There. <3

    enjoy and critique if you'd like to.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIgnoredots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hit a wall
    Of the harshest kind
    The one that hurts the most
    And painfully wears down on you
    Gradually over time.

    I hit a wall
    Of the coldest kind
    Where you start to wonder if you’re right
    And slowly loose your faith
    In yourself and others.

    I hit a wall
    Of the loneliest kind
    Where no sound or movement
    Can suffice to portray your emotion
    In just the right way.

    I hit a wall
    Of the darkest kind
    That makes you really question
    If you’re doing good or bad
    And cruelly persuades you to falter.

    I hit a wall
    Of the stupidest kind
    Where teammates turn on each other
    And those with ideas are cast out
    while the other still stay stuck.

    I hit a wall
    Of the most painful kind
    Where no voice is heard
    Upon the ears of the deaf
    an those reluctant to listen.




    Submitted on 2007-02-24 02:39:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I was going to critique a couple of things that thought could this write read better but Bill, rws already gave them to you.

    So I'll just tell you how this made me feel, as it is very powerful and moving piece.
    It is a horrible feeling to be invisible and felt out.
    MAkes one start to question there standing or lack there of...you give us a truly overwhelming sense of that here and with a couple of very slight changes it will be an incredibly strong write.

    I think it might have been one of those times that makes one feel like crawling under the rug...but I hope you didn't and next time you can hold your head even higher.

    good write none the less,
    kelly
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      I hit a wall
    Of the harshest kind
    The one that hurts most
    And painfully wears (you) down
    Gradually over time.

    I hit a wall
    Of the coldest kind
    Where you wonder if you’re right
    And slowly (lose) your faith
    In yourself and others.

    I hit a wall
    Of the loneliest kind
    Where no sound or movement
    Can suffice to portray emotion
    In just the right way.

    I hit a wall
    Of the darkest kind
    That makes you really question
    If you’re doing good or bad
    And cruelly persuades you to falter.

    I hit a wall
    Of the stupidest kind
    Where teammates turn on each other
    And those with ideas are cast out
    As) the (others) still stay stuck.

    I hit a wall
    Of the most painful kind
    Where no voice is heard
    Upon the ears of the deaf
    an those reluctant to listen.



    Well...

    I hope this post isn't the result of youth summit/ generational clashes/ local politics/ business as usual, because the concept is a very sound one that allows youth to feel invovlved in their communities rather than designating them 'non-citizens' until they're old enough to vote.

    As for the nitpicks, I left a few suggestions in parentheses, but you may use or discard them as you see fit.

    Nicely done
    Bill


    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece, it portrays quite a strong emotion which I have felt many a time. Really good formatting and everything. Not much else to say.
    Keep up the great work!
    ~flor
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    135885

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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