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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Curedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Halston
    ASL Info:    20/female/carlsbad,ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 72/71/30
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 914
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759



    Description:
       Written at 15


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCuredots
    -------------------------------------------


    When you choose to live
    the way that I have,
    I believe there is no going back.
    Lifestyles gobble you up,
    like a homemade pie, it's
    fat and content.

    I would be sitting with a family,
    chatting and laughing.
    I believe I could be happy that way.
    Instead I'm sitting outiside,
    it's a bitchin' cold night, so
    skinny and cut open.

    When you polute your mind,
    with ideals like mine,
    I believe a cigarette is the only cure.
    The orange ember
    is a tunnel of light,
    a beacon of hope...
    then I take the last drag.
    Burning the camel's feet,
    A viscious cycle I am compelled to repeat.




    Submitted on 2007-02-24 03:21:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Holy crap,
    14! wow your an amazing writer.
    im so jealous. wow.
    it was a good write. not amazing but good.
    liked it darling. you have a future in writing.
    | Posted on 2007-02-25 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      strong words from a 14 year old..
    but a well written piece...
    i like the way u've put across the regret and yet an acceptance of the situation...
    on a personal note.. everyone makes choices that they regret eventually... but there is always time to make ammends.. face the music of what you've done.. accept responsibilty and make ammends.. if not that.. make the best of what u have.
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      You write older than you look. It was good, it had a steam of thought flow, and a meaning to it, something alot of [censored] is lacking. Luckily, not everything is, guess that's why we keep on truckin', or in this case reading.
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a really good piece, I especially love the last stanza, even though you are only 14 and shouldnt be smoking...lol. but yea, a few problems here and there, nice analogies and stuff but sometimes they dont make much sense or add enough to the piece. Overall its good though.
    ~flora
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]


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