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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: unstarted, unfinsiheddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Nagow
    ASL Info:    20/f/Denmark
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 56/70/29
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 980
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 464



    Description:
       These are just some thoughts I had...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunstarted, unfinsiheddots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I were with you
    then what would it be like
    would the touch of your hand make me shiver
    or would it make me turn away
    would you even dare to
    cause you're really shy
    but I'm infatuated by you
    and it's really hard cause it makes me feel
    and I am scared to
    cause I know deep down inside
    that you might not want me
    and then I will be hurt
    and I don't want to be




    Submitted on 2004-06-08 03:38:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I understand what you were going for but I feel it was lost in the writing. I'm sure you can do better and I agree, "cause" or even "because" can be stricken from the writing for a better term. Keep working at it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Dreams of Angels | [ Reply to This ]


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