[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: he and reation to hedots

    Author: slickone113
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 37/46/20
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 414
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117

       poem my wife vanessa bryan wrote and i responded

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshe and reation to hedots

    she paces, aimlessley... in need and without the slightest idea.
    pondering the meanings of many things,
    anything to keep from not existing.
    her mind a battlefield without sight of amnesty...
    he is her shelter from oblivion,
    momentary ectacy,
    his very prescence humbling and comforting....
    He gives her peace with no expectation,
    he is her liberation
    2007 Vanessa Bryan

    he paces aimlessley in and out of reactions, clouded
    rooms with creaky floors....
    years without need of another and now........?
    happily swimming in a magnetic pull and lost
    without.(not existing)
    or what really is?
    i am!! i am honest in her shelter
    she watches me cry in the corner and lets me die
    i am reborn in life a new person,
    she calls me a man and i am a alive
    finally! so curse the ones who watch without smiles
    and let me hold her in my skin with no expectation,
    she is his liberation.

    2007 Josh Polizzi

    Submitted on 2007-02-24 13:21:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That's powerful and romantic. I really liked it.

    'she watches me cry in the corner and lets me die
    i am reborn in life a new person'

    those are my favorite lines. You and your wife are both excellent poets. Great job
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Giving written by jjd
    Incubus written by monad
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    This written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]