Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: he and reation to hedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: slickone113
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 37/46/20
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 401
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117



    Description:
       poem my wife vanessa bryan wrote and i responded


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshe and reation to hedots
    -------------------------------------------


    she paces, aimlessley... in need and without the slightest idea.
    pondering the meanings of many things,
    anything to keep from not existing.
    her mind a battlefield without sight of amnesty...
    he is her shelter from oblivion,
    momentary ectacy,
    his very prescence humbling and comforting....
    He gives her peace with no expectation,
    he is her liberation
    2007 Vanessa Bryan

    REACTION TO HE
    he paces aimlessley in and out of reactions, clouded
    rooms with creaky floors....
    years without need of another and now........?
    happily swimming in a magnetic pull and lost
    without.(not existing)
    or what really is?
    i am!! i am honest in her shelter
    she watches me cry in the corner and lets me die
    i am reborn in life a new person,
    she calls me a man and i am a alive
    finally! so curse the ones who watch without smiles
    and let me hold her in my skin with no expectation,
    she is his liberation.


    2007 Josh Polizzi




    Submitted on 2007-02-24 13:21:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That's powerful and romantic. I really liked it.

    'she watches me cry in the corner and lets me die
    i am reborn in life a new person'

    those are my favorite lines. You and your wife are both excellent poets. Great job
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    135899

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Carry written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry