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    dots Submission Name: Tykedots

    Author: Imaginth
    Elite Ratio:    5.18 - 43/50/19
    Words: 1775
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 1110
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 9328

       This is my first shot at the novel! Take a peek!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The music blared right through the double doors and over the loud conversations of the people waiting to get inside. As Rhiane walked, her heels clicked on the concrete. Tonight was her night and there was no way she would let anyone ruin it. As she walked to the front of the line, her long, raven, black locks bounced against her shoulders. She had taken the time to actually curl them, which was a pain seeing as her hair was so long and bulky.

    The bouncer glanced down at her as she walked right past the crowd and stopped with a smile. He was tall and very muscular with sleeked back black hair that was over-gelled. The look on his face screamed that he was staring at all her curves, and this was a gesture that Rhiane didn’t care about. She was so used to it now from both men and women. The smile that crept along his face was one she liked to see, it meant that he approved of her entrance to the nightclub, Tyke. The velvet rope was unhinged as he let her pass.

    “Miss Rhiane, it has been quite some time since you last visited us.” His voice was very deep and booming; it made him all the more intimidating.

    “Brant, you know me better than that. I always come back for more.” She said with a devious smile.

    “Vald has been asking for you a lot lately.” He informed her.

    She let out a small sigh, yet still hiding the disappointment behind her smile. “Has he not found himself a new slave?”

    “You’ll have to find that out for yourself.” Brant told her as he stood in front of a man who wanted so desperately into the club.

    Rhiane took a deep breath as two more bouncers opened the double doors for her. Their attire was that of tuxedos and they made her want to vomit. They were no sleeves at all and they wore sneakers, black of course. It was Vlad’s doing, she could easily tell because he had a horrible sense of fashion when it came to his worker’s uniforms. He must have just waved a hand at whoever showed him the designs. The thought of that made her laugh, but it was not heard through the music.

    As the music numbed her ears, Rhiane walked to the over crowded bar. She took a seat right in front of the bartender; a sly smile came across her face. The bartender was turned around with a wet glass and towel in his hands. He thought he had heard someone calling for a drink and it was Rhiane. He arched an eyebrow at her and smiled.

    “My, my, you pulled a Houdini.” He teased.

    “I pull better tricks out of my sleeve than that man.” She retorted.

    They crossed gazed fiercely for a few moments, then the two burst out laughing.

    “You haven’t changed a bit Rhiane. But I can’t guarantee that Vald won’t come running once news gets to him that you’ve arrived.” He told her starting to wipe the glass clean.

    “Have you already forgotten me?” She asked him raising and eyebrow.

    “How could I forget you?”

    “Then you know that we will play our game of cat and mouse. He may be that cat, but I am a tiny mouse. The mouse is always smaller and harder to catch.” The smile on her face told him everything he needed to know.

    “Fine, ten minutes and then the word will spread like wildfire.”

    “Thanks, Luke.” She said leaving the bar for the dance floor.

    Rhiane swiftly and agilely made her way to the center of the dancers. She could feel hands groping her in places that they shouldn’t be and that angered her. On a normal basis she would have turned around and hit the guy or girl. However, tonight she wasn’t in her own skin, she was in the skin of Rhiane. Jamie, her real life personality, was dormant inside of her mind. Rhiane had come out to play tonight.

    She moved with the beat of the music, rubbing up against everyone. There was no choice in the matter, either. There was little room to breath within the area and the hot air whipped around her. The feeling of being so close to someone she didn’t know gave her a rush unlike anything she experienced before. While she was within herself dancing around everyone a pair of hands wrapped around her waist.

    They were rough hands that had a firm grip on her, pressing the two bodies together as if to become one. Rhiane looked upwards to see a familiar black-haired fellow. A smile came across her beautiful face as he caressed her cheek lightly with a firm grip still on part of her waist. It was Vald, with all his amber-eyed glory. Her ten minutes must have been up quicker than she thought because out of the corner of her eye she could see Luke smiling.

    “Princess, why do you prefer to dance with them instead of me?” His voice was deep and soothing to her ears.

    “You are the one who has a new girl on your arm each time I see you.” She said drifting out of his grasp.

    He grabbed her back up with a desperate hunger in his eyes. “They are no replacement to you.”

    “Yet you treat them as if I was them.”

    “Only until you return.” His lips went to her neck, softly kissing her skin. Rhiane pulled back and faced him with her devilish smile.

    “If you attempt to replace me with one of them, then by all means I won’t return to you one night.” She turned around as if to go somewhere else to dance.

    He moved his hands around her bust, interlocking them. As she tired to move forward she was repelled backwards, their bodies tightly pressed against one another. It had been too long since she had been this close to Vald and he showed that to her. Jamie had been keeping Rhiane locked up for too long and now she would regret it. Rhiane turned around in his arms. His amber eyes met her green eyes and they gazed at one another for a long time.

    “You are mine and I won’t share you.” Vald said as he kissed up her jaw line and to her soft lips. She returned the kiss with a lost lust, but she kept the kiss short and sweet.

    “You missed Valentine’s Day, Master.” She could feel his skin shiver as she mentioned it.

    In disappointment, he closed his eyes. “How can I make it up to you, Princess?”

    “We will see.” Rhiane got her way; she always got her way.

    * * * * *

    Jamie awoke with the biggest headache. Her temples were throbbing and practically screaming for some sort of relief. As she opened her eyes, she came to realize she wasn’t at her home or in her own bed. The comforter was pearl white and when she looked at it, her eyes hurt.

    The lighting was dimmed abruptly. As she looked over, she saw a face she had no desire to see. It was Vald, in just his pants and no shirt. She outlined his muscles with her eyes. It was hard not to take her eyes off of him and he smiled. He must have noticed she had woken up. The way he smiled made her want to vomit; Vald knew she was Jamie and not Rhiane.

    “Don’t even say it.” Jamie said turning on her side on the bed.

    “Well, good morning to you too.” He said coming over and sitting down right next to her. He ran his fingers gently on her cheek and she swiped them away.

    “Don’t touch me.” She demanded and he laughed slightly.

    “I will do as I please to the one who resides in your mind and body.” His voice had more of a force to it now.

    “It is my body and mind. You will do well to remember that.” She had sat up to face him head on.

    He grabbed her chin and kept a firm grip on it. “You are mine, just as Rhiane is as well. You were the one that pledged yourself to me. You are my slave, Jamie.”

    “I am no slave! Least of all to you!” She forced her chin out of his grip and turned her back to him.

    He turned her around and this time his grip dug into her shoulders making her wince. She wasn’t able to break free of his grasp now that he wanted her to stay right where she was. His amber eyes seemed to look right through her and she looked away from him. Her eyes were sorrowful as she remembered that she truly was his slave and there was nothing she could do.

    “Princess, don’t fret or fear me.” His grip was tight, but his voice was soft.

    She didn’t speak.

    “Have you come to your senses now?” He let his grip loosen on her.

    “I have.” Her voice was soft and fearful.

    He embraced her, as a lover would do. She rested her head gently on his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his muscular back. Her fingertips outlined these muscles as they remained there in silence for a few moments. Then he pulled her back so they met eye to eye. One of his smiles showed up again, making her stomach churn.

    “Now, let’s get you something to eat. Rhiane had one too many drinks last night.” His voice was something Jamie wanted to forget more than his image. Jamie would do anything to get rid of him, but she couldn’t, not as long as Rhiane was around.

    Submitted on 2007-02-24 14:24:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
       hey it's cool , I really love it , write more plx * puppy eyes * , , take care
    | Posted on 2007-06-04 00:00:00 | by Squall Leon Hea | [ Reply to This ]
      this was interesting and original. some advice for you though:

    when you start to reveal that Rhiane is a split personality, i think you should go into some more depth later on as you make more referrences to it. we need to know why and how this personality thing came around.

    same thing with the slave-master relationship.

    there's the occasional word confusion and grammar errors:
    "They crossed gazed fiercely for a few moments," should be "They crossed gazes..." or "They cross-gazed..."

    "They were no sleeves at all and they wore sneakers, black of course." should be "There weren't...". just things like that to look out for, pretty common mistakes.

    i'm assuming you're doing this in chapters, so i would try and address the first two things within the next chapter; give us a little more background and history on Rhiane, Jamie, and their involvement with Vald.
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Nero_s Decay | [ Reply to This ]

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