actually, this is kind of cute. not heart stopping profound but it's has a vivid tone to it... (i can't get the right words out here). but do you mean "cut" in line two instad of "cute"? overall, enjoyed reading it... i really liked the bed being an island in a voilent sea
This was simple, yet beautifully written! i like it.. and trust me, it doesnt take much to impress me.. hehe jk. yah! this one is everything "gotcha_crazy" has said. I liked how you ended it as well.. the whole poem was smooth.. SAUVE!! good job. :D
You don't need a boat, you're a balloon. Duh. You just need scissors and an arm-like appendage. I'm being fecetious (sp) of course. The idea you start with the first line is a good one, the idea being that you are ready to float but are held back by a palpable depression that seems somehow separate from the self. I'm not so keen on where you take the piece after that.
good to know you're not feeling this way now! i know the feeling, though, of no escape. i had to laugh when people mentioned cutting the tether and flying away 'cause i know all too well the feeling of depression when you just can't do it. no amount of logic or sense can penetrate that awful cloud that surrounds you. just the simple idea of getting out of the bed seems impossible. anyway, nice crisp write about the hopless feeling of depression.
I know this feeling too well. swim and you'll drown. it's not so easy to get out of that. but I'm glad you don't fell that down lately. your images are great and describe the feeling perfectly. very well done. I like it.
Please don't be mad at me, but I just don't like this one. The extra line added information that I had already inferred from the first line. You said yourself that you just couldn't think of anything to write about. This could still be salvaged into something better. But so you know, if I posted all the poems of yours that are fit for my faves, it'd be a long list.
This is really well written. Depression must have some alternative options though, I would like to see you explore those. Who am I to speak, I have never suffered from this. Being temporarily depressed certainly doesn't qualify, and I'm like the water polo ball, mostly carried above the water and cannot be kept down for long. I just wish there was something else I could suggest rather than chemical means of cover up.
i have to say it...i love the thought in the first two lines then im lost usally when i read your stuff the meaning flows out as i read it, this im clueless..maybe im just missing something if i am could you tell me ...drives me nuts when im reading poems and i cant decipher them...smiles ange