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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tethereddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 946
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 182



    Description:
       I'm actually not all that down lately. I just couldn't think of anything about which to write.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTethereddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Depression keeps me down like a tethered balloon.
    I have no way to cut myself free.
    This bed is an island in a violent sea,
    and I have no boat in which to leave.




    Submitted on 2004-06-08 03:45:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      actually, this is kind of cute. not heart stopping profound but it's has a vivid tone to it... (i can't get the right words out here).
    but do you mean "cut" in line two instad of "cute"?
    overall, enjoyed reading it... i really liked the bed being an island in a voilent sea
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      A small but painful picture of utter despondency
    black, grey and only a little white
    Now you must find wings to fly--Silver
    | Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      This was simple, yet beautifully written! i like it.. and trust me, it doesnt take much to impress me.. hehe jk. yah! this one is everything "gotcha_crazy" has said. I liked how you ended it as well.. the whole poem was smooth.. SAUVE!! good job. :D
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Krypton3 | [ Reply to This ]
      3 lines' worth of a crie de coeur and its minimal duration makes it an all the more approriate means of delivery.
    Like a sort of verbal hypodermic into the lobes.
    Get out of bed.
    K
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm glad you aren't feeling this way now. Well done, good use of simile. At the first read I thought, loose one of the ands, but after a few reads, no, you have it right, oh BTW, no boat? Swim!
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      You don't need a boat, you're a balloon. Duh. You just need scissors and an arm-like appendage. I'm being fecetious (sp) of course. The idea you start with the first line is a good one, the idea being that you are ready to float but are held back by a palpable depression that seems somehow separate from the self. I'm not so keen on where you take the piece after that.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      good to know you're not feeling this way now! i know the feeling, though, of no escape. i had to laugh when people mentioned cutting the tether and flying away 'cause i know all too well the feeling of depression when you just can't do it. no amount of logic or sense can penetrate that awful cloud that surrounds you. just the simple idea of getting out of the bed seems impossible. anyway, nice crisp write about the hopless feeling of depression.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this feeling too well. swim and you'll drown. it's not so easy to get out of that. but I'm glad you don't fell that down lately.
    your images are great and describe the feeling perfectly. very well done. I like it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Please don't be mad at me, but I just don't like this one. The extra line added information that I had already inferred from the first line. You said yourself that you just couldn't think of anything to write about. This could still be salvaged into something better. But so you know, if I posted all the poems of yours that are fit for my faves, it'd be a long list.
    | Posted on 2004-06-08 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really well written. Depression must have some alternative options though, I would like to see you explore those. Who am I to speak, I have never suffered from this. Being temporarily depressed certainly doesn't qualify, and I'm like the water polo ball, mostly carried above the water and cannot be kept down for long. I just wish there was something else I could suggest rather than chemical means of cover up.
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to say it...i love the thought in the first two lines then im lost usally when i read your stuff the meaning flows out as i read it, this im clueless..maybe im just missing something if i am could you tell me ...drives me nuts when im reading poems and i cant decipher them...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]


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