truth untold -------------------------------------------
like the the color of water
i am see-through
like that one daughter
i am to be untrue
see life. from a birds eye view. hiding knives. its the picture i drew. masking my secrets held inside.
abstian. avoid. the truth
lie.. conceal. the truth
like the petals of a rose
i am noticeable
like that one broken home
i am observable
see the art in the sky. creating rain, and lightning. see the damage inside a mind. creating confusion. can no longer sustain
like the tiny branches on a tree
i am. breakable
like the broken glass of tea
i am. unfixable.
like the mind you can't see
i am insane
like the time of b.c
i am too naive to obtian
the truth of all this pain
see the notes that aren't being played. see the broken strings on a violin. the stand thrown agianst the plain. and in the melody of symphonies. there is a portrait of truth. that wont ever be discovered. in us. the youth.
It was refreshing to read a new and different writing style, thank you for that. The lines
"i am too naive to obtian
the truth of all this pain"
were my favorite, I believe it captures the whole piece, I can relate extremely well to it. You may want to check your spelling of "Knifes".. Thats the only critique I have...sorry it was so nitpicky and lame.
This is full of whimsical, thoughtful imagery. You are somewhere 'there'. Somehow I had a feelin' that the relation between the said item mentioned and 'I' are a bit far-fetched... How can u make those bonds stronger? And always check your spelling before finalising.
That's all I can say, and not help. I've lost my touch in poetry and can no longer help myself. My apologies.
I really liked this alot, including the wierd writing style. The only parts I didn't really like, were the interlude like parts where you explained what you were like using similies. It wasn't bad, but I didn't like it as much as the rest, I'm gonna try and look into some of your other stuff in the future (within a day or so).