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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: LIFES ROADdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Bones
    ASL Info:    40/M/ALABAMA
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 11/10/18
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 658



    Description:
       THIS WAS A POEM WRITTEN TO A FRIEND, SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER BEST FRIEND BUT HE DID NOT LOVE HER IN THE SAME WAY


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLIFES ROADdots
    -------------------------------------------




    LIFES ROAD
    Current mood: flirty
    Category: Writing and Poetry

    Roses are red, suger is sweet;

    Babies are beautiful, deadth can be just a breath away;

    All we can do is live life to it`s fullest,

    hope some how we make it in to heaven above;

    But untill then all i have to look foward to,

    is to see someone as beautiful and sweet as you;

    Life is a road that we have no idea where it will take us,

    so live it to it`s fullest and never take being 2nd best to no one.

    WRITER: WILLIAM D THOMPSON JR




    Submitted on 2007-02-25 09:47:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      IM SORRY BUT IF PEPS DON`T LIKE MY GRAMER IM SORRY, AND I KNOW MY SPELLING IS NOT THE BEST. I THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS WEATHER THEY ARE GOOD OR BAD
    | Posted on 2009-12-24 00:00:00 | by Bones | [ Reply to This ]
      I do agree with drkpoet that this seems a little robotic. Almost a little preachy in a way.

    I am not saying this is a bad poem but lacks a little emotion. Try putting yourself as the subject and feel the hurt or confusion that must be going through that person and you might be surprised at how it turns out.

    Nice write

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece, and i like that you wrote it for a friend, that was nice. there are some grammar errors, but i'm sure you can fix that up without too much trouble. only thing that really bothered me was the repitition of 'live life to it's fullest' seemed a bit jarring for the end line. other than that, i like this, if i was the friend you wrote it for it would've made me feel better :)
    well done
    Regards, Kalinda
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]
      i do like the idea of this piece, but i think it is lacking a feeling, the emotion of maybe rejection that you are the 2nd best to someone, and thats all you'll be, or the excitment that you dont have to be the 2nd best, keep life up, live it to the fullest, and you will find your number 1, there is someone out there..
    | Posted on 2007-02-25 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]


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