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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: free I guessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: just an angel
    ASL Info:    17/F/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 95/109/59
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Misc/Angst
    Total Views: 764
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 740



    Description:
       I'm just a little depressed, no where near suicide. I actually hate suicide so I guess this poem is hypocritical. Oh well, enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfree I guessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's happened again
    Just like before
    I'm fed up with it
    Why live anymore?

    Right here in my hand
    This shiny metal
    Will give me my end
    Help me to settle

    Just a simple, deep slice
    Across this fleshly jail
    All of life's worth
    Has tipped the scale

    Just a second of pain
    Then it's all finished
    This hellhole
    Will be diminished

    The note's on the bed
    There for everyone to read
    In it are my apologies
    And as they cry, I'll bleed

    So good-bye love
    Now everything will be right
    As an error is erased
    On this starry night




    Submitted on 2007-02-25 20:43:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's definately different than what I thought it was going to be. I'm always used to reading these cutter poems and this was a change from that. Kind of makes you think that you can take yourself out of this world so easily, and leave everyone behind you with a letter. Typical ending for a suicide, but I still like how you wrote it:)
    | Posted on 2007-02-25 00:00:00 | by HurtDeepDown | [ Reply to This ]
      You are clearly a good writer - this poem has nice flow and a fitting rhyme scheme. However, I think you are simply working with far too clichéd of a subject. It's too 'teen angst' and even with brilliant language, it won't be set apart from the crowd of hateful suicide poems that everyone wrote as a teenager. Keep working, and think about what you really care about. What makes you unique as an individual? Write about that and you can have well-written AND original poetry.
    | Posted on 2007-02-25 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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