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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Not In So Many Wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: homeless
    ASL Info:    30
    Elite Ratio:    7.61 - 29/18/23
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 683
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 614



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNot In So Many Wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm just a girl self abused
    with sad sobby stories of being used
    I clung to you and
    was afraid to choose

    I wouldn't end it
    Just prepend it
    with 'we maybe someday',
    details amended

    I waited for you
    to stop me or drop me
    Then I could cry
    of how you don't want me

    I quietly hoped you would leave
    Make me the victim!
    He needs to believe!
    I'm the damaged girl who cries on his sleeve

    This is what she told me;
    just not in so many words.




    Submitted on 2007-02-25 22:43:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very profound. Some people really like to be the vitcim... Anways, as far as writing goes, i liked the piece as a whole. The only thing that threw me off was sad sobby stories. It's a nice bit of alliteration, but the word sobby just kinda stuck out to me. I really like how you wrote about her, but used first person because she was the one talking then end it with third person, i wasn't confused and it was very original... The second stanza is my favorite for sure. good stuff

    :) tennisfuzz
    | Posted on 2007-02-27 00:00:00 | by tennisfuzz | [ Reply to This ]


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