Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tinted Skydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: moonlitsky
    Elite Ratio:    5.96 - 70/44/15
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 635



    Description:
       hard to remember things like this now... *sigh*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTinted Skydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I looked out
    The window of your car
    To find a sky
    Painted purple and grey
    I whispered your name
    Without tearing my eyes away
    And told you how beautiful
    I thought it was
    You smiled back in amusement
    Pointed ahead
    Saying
    ďBabe, itís only the tint
    That makes it look that way.Ē
    Reluctantly I focused my eyes
    To the road before me
    Looked at the pale blue sky
    I hadnít seen
    But had been all along
    Wishing
    Praying
    With all hope left in me
    What I had seen out the window
    Was real




    Submitted on 2007-02-26 05:27:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this poem has a bittersweet taste to it. you had me thinking the sky was really that beautiful at the time, and then it turned out to be false. too good to be true.

    don't you hate that saying?

    anyway, i liked the poem. very cute. i wonder how you felt when he told you it was only the tint on the window..

    were you embarressed? disappointed?

    good poem. keep writing
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by slickviper097 | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved this. it is very much awesome. reality is not attractive as the fantasy sometimes. figures it would take another person to bring you down out of the clouds. good hopes and dreams to you and yours. awesomeness
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by disillusion | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great. It is indeed simple, but so nice to read. It's hopeful, which is something we all need in this world. Thanks!

    -angel-
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Great peice. It was simple, but I liked it a lot. I wasn't really in a thinking mood, so I was going to comment later, but this poem was pretty straight forward. Good imagery....

    People take so much forgranted, and it's good that you wrote a poem to make people realise that.

    Anyway, very good job, and keep up the good work.

    Sincerely,
    Draigon
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      its a talent to be able to write in a simple manner than in all actuality isn't simple at all. made me smile. hats off to you.
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE TINTED COLOURED SKIES.

    A simple piece thats easy to understand and stands for itself. Imagery was fiine, but I tihnk that since you are mesmerised by the sky, you may render yourself speechless (a little), so I think lack of description is alright. Ya get what I mean? =P

    Not many appreciate such a beauty as much. I've finally found someone who does love it like me; YOU.

    Keep writing. I believe some of your thoughts are concealed somewhere.... out there.

    Ryuki.
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]
      It was really good, but Im not really into that kinda stuff. I give it 10's across the board though.
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Dark Divinity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    136072

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry