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ONE LAST TIME


Author: GoKart Mozart
Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 131 /93 /49
Words: 169
Class/Type: Poetry /Happy
Total Views: 990
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1120



Description:


also written in Feb. '05
i like this one...it brings back good memories =]

but you can tell i was pretty young when i wrote it...when in reality, i guess, i felt like more of a little kid when i wrote it bc it is about a time when i WAS a little kid.

it's more effective when it's centered, but i seem to be forbidden to use features such as center, italics, and bold on here....so....take it as it is.


ONE LAST TIME



It was a warm midsummer morning;
I woke early to prepare.
My family and I,
All there,
Some of our friends, too.

We gathered in my uncle's yard
To have a swim or two.
Cooking out and playing games,
Rhyming things with people's names.

In the pool all day i'd be;
Everyone would laugh at me;
My shriveled fingers, my wet hair-
We could have fun anywhere!

In the house and in the alley,
In the park across the street-
I remember how it used to be.

How I miss those summer days,
Laughing, lazy, in the haze.
We'd chase the ice-cream truck all day
(Just for fun when we would play)
Licking ice-cream as we ran;
I think the driver's name was Dan...

Looking back now i remember
All the fun we used to have.
But everyone's gone their separate ways-
No more grand midsummer days...
I wish i could go back in time
To be with my summer-friends

One last time.




Submitted on 2007-02-26 08:44:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  the rhyme didn't feel as sophisticated as it should but as you say, you were two years younger when you wrote it and i wrote some dross when i was younger that (thankfully) hasn't found its way onto this site! i love the theme, and while it's not completely original, it's one we can all identify with. i also love the last line which seems to convey your feelings really well of wanting to taste, experience, and have that time back again. nostalgia is a powerful thing and as we get older and have to face up to our responsibilities we experience a lot of sadness. take care. x
| Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by freeangel | [ Reply to This ]
  Some of the rhymes sounded kinda forced here. But overall, it was good. I like the whole thinking back to the past when there was good times and a feeling of ''WOW' in the air. Makes me think to back when I was younger, like 4 or 5 years ago, and I always had this feeling that everything was fine and dandy, but as I get older I lose that feeling. Sad really.

But this was good.

Yay for you Skipper!


Soul
| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]


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