Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

out of grip


Author: DontLetGo421
Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 118 /238 /141
Words: 57
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1385
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 358



Description:




out of grip



these moments are slipping out of grip

words unspoken moisten my lip

we attempt to make each moment last

as each second fades in from present to past

stay, stay with me even though we spoke such cruel thoughts

stay, stay with me even though your priceless love could easily be bought




Submitted on 2007-02-26 13:33:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  love dont cost a thing this poems ace doe
| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by thewantedwords | [ Reply to This ]
  this is so simple and your feelings are put in to it in a way that I love it. there is none of that read between the lines stuff and you get right up in the readers face with how you want it to sound, at least thats what i think. but this is very good. joanna
| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by heartless_ | [ Reply to This ]
  I love it. This one of the of my new favorites. It is bring a thought of happiness from nothing. 10's
| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Dark Divinity | [ Reply to This ]
  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!this is identical to the peice i was working on. well the idea is! errrrr! oh well ive loved you r work in the past and again you have found the heart of my problems in my life. its like ether we are having the same problem or you really know how to write! *WOW*
| Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by Mr.Ordinary | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



136104