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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soradots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Squall Leon Hea
    Elite Ratio:    2.33 - 102/77/26
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 234
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 448



    Description:
       I know some grammer mistakes , but bare with me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoradots
    -------------------------------------------


    Under a tree I sat
    Looking at a flaming sky

    I look , whaere am at
    Everything dead *sigh*

    I look at the tree
    Almost black and bare

    Why did this have to be
    Why life is unfair

    Clutching to my legs
    Holding them to my chest

    Atear begs
    To fall , I wiped it with my fist

    Now am all alone
    Looking at the rise of Dawn




    Submitted on 2007-02-26 14:17:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a pretty awesome idea... in some parts the grammar mistakes kinda wrecked the flow but I am sure when thats all fixed up it will be excellent...
    I like the way it is written... but I think it could improve if it was elaborated on...
    maybe more on why life is unfair... iono...

    keep up the good work
    Hannah
    | Posted on 2007-03-03 00:00:00 | by seriouscutter19 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this but wish it could have been longer. I liked the *sigh* thing.
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by crazy_83 | [ Reply to This ]
      is this just a poem or feelings?are u depressed?*hugs*

    good poem,keep it up

    ~safire~
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      you have a pretty good idea going here and once you get around the grammar mistakes its a very good poem. joanna
    | Posted on 2007-02-26 00:00:00 | by heartless_ | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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