I wanted to see a little word play on clo0uds and rain as tears. I would take out the word "and" from line 2, it seems to work better for me without it. I would have full stopped and put a space in after line three to give it a long thoughtful drama pause. And the last three lines rhyming distracted for me too. However I liked the truth of the words and they made me think enough to enjoy myself.
This is really true
I believe what you are saying is no matter how much we trey to live in the positive their will always be shortcomings that bring Negativity
Its how we perceive those negatives and change them to a positive that really makes the difference
I for one can feel negative energy and to tell you the truth when I feel it no matter who or what it is I stay the hell away from it
We are not truly happy as people until we find the positive to the negative trying to absorb us
GREAT JOB
God Bless
Ron
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
Submission Name: the fall from cloud 9
